CONGRATULATIONS KATE!
Aug 29th, 2008 by BohemianMoon
PLEASE NOTE: The following is purely satirical~
Dear Kate,
I am just SO excited!!!!!!!
How proud you must be to not only be named Good Housekeeping Magazine’s Mother of the Month, but to have an ENTIRE episode of Jon and Kate Plus Eight dedicated to documenting your well deserved honor! They could not have made a better choice. Like anyone could compare to you!
Really, I could not BELIEVE the total nerve of Good Housekeeping to even HAVE any other mothers in the running.
LORDY BE! WHAT could they have possibly been THINKING?
I mean PLUUUUEEEEZZZZ, that Carrie woman? You know, that wife of whats his face that died in June while fighting in Iraq? SO WHAT if she has become the single mother of three and will now play both mommy and daddy. OH BOOO HOOO HOO! I mean, you know, don’t get me wrong, it is sad and all, but lets get REAL. She only has three kids. Your cleaning lady, nanny, delivery chef, other helpers and landscaper aside Kate, that is NOTHING compared to you taking care of your EIGHT. Some people just can’t seem to understand what it is like to walk in your shoes, Kate. They just DON’T and I don’t understand why. I mean she is going to get a pension and health care for not only her kids but HERSELF too just because her husband was in the military. Also, those kids are so young they probably won’t even remember him anyways, so I really don’t understand what the big deal is. Why would loosing your husband in a silly old war put you in the running for Mother of the Month? I bet she doesn’t even feed her kids organic fluff!
Oh and that Lisa ? That woman whose husband was in the way of that suicide truck bomber? AGAIN in Iraq. Seriously, what is up with all this Iraq stuff ANYWAYS? So he has burns over 3/4ths of his body and lost his left arm. His face isn’t burned, he is right handed AND he has all of his hair still! So what if it takes him a bunch of skin grafts and a year or so of physical therapy at an army hospital before he is able to return home and learn a new job?!?!? I mean it isn’t like he lost his RIGHT arm, plus there are lots of jobs a person can do with one arm! I even bet that he is a quick healer like you with your tummy tuck and Jon with his hair plugs. I didn’t see you two complaining all that much but there she is just WHINING away about having to work two jobs to keep her house when all the while ALL five of her children go to school. ALL of them! She has PLENTY of time to work, and just because the older ones have to watch the younger ones because she has no family there to help her, it was her OWN FAULT for moving to another State to marry him in the first place. Besides, you and me KNOW that extended family isn’t what people make it out to be. No one NEEDS family. All those grandparents, aunts, uncles and close friends? VERY overrated. They just get in the way, particularly ones like ours that never listen to what we tell them to do and then complain about it. PLUUUEEEZZZ! They aren’t important, no one needs them and thats that.
You know, Kate, lets just call it like it REALLY is. I mean, those people CHOSE the military, they didn’t have to, so really, it is their OWN fault. Nothing to really honor as far as I can see. I mean none of those families even have ONE set of multiples, let alone a set of TWINS and SEXTUPLETS, like you and Jon do, Kate. People simply cannot understand what the two of you go through on a daily basis.
Oh, and don’t even get me started on that Tiesha woman and her four kids from New Orleans who were rescued from the top of her roof when that big storm, ummm, was was it called? Oh yeah, a hurricane, hit. Ah, HEEELLLLLLLOOOOOOOO! That was SO 3 years ago. I mean Ann Taylor Loft has produced a bunch of collections since then. It is OLD news! Yet there they are still talking about how she made sure her kids were all rescued and stuff first and she had to wait for another helicopter. And then how she didn’t know where her kids were and it took her two days to find them at the convention center, and how her home and everything in it was destroyed and then she is living still in a FEMA trailer because it took her over a year to find a new job because the market where she worked was destroyed along with all the other businesses. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! Same old, same old. I mean if she was really so worried about this, she should have gone with the rest of them to Houston. I don’t think that it should matter one bit that she was born and raised in her house that was destroyed and wanted to rebuild it. She could be much further in life if she left, is my opinion. She was taken care of by the taxpayers of America, so she shouldn’t complain. I mean LIKE PLUUUEEEZZZ, it wasn’t like you, Kate, that had EIGHT children and was forced to appeal to the State of Pennsylvania to keep your much needed nurse. Everyone who is anyone KNOWS that it takes at least three adults and many volunteers to spot diaper rash when you have that many kids. Some people can be so heartless and cruel when they can’t see the big picture like you and I, Kate.
BUT you showed them ALL! YOU knew from the beginning that sextuplets are a curiosity and you would be able to make a good living off of them if you played your cards right, hee hee! Chanel baby bag, here you come! You did it and you did it well. SIGH! You GO Girl! You are so clever and that is just one more reason that Good Housekeeping made the absolute bestest choice of YOU, Kate Gosselin, their Mother of the Month. I just know that Time Woman of the Year is next for you! I just KNOW it!!!!
Your most adoring fan,
TIFFANY
P.S. Just like the jewelry store!
P.P.S. Ha ha!
**** I ask that you write Good Housekeeping regarding this debacle and voice your alarm of their obviously misguided choice:
Marjorie Cubisino, Director
Consumer & Reader Services
Good Housekeeping Research Institute
*****Author’s comment and disclaimer: Author is not aware if there was anyone else in the running with Kate Gosselin for Good Housekeeping’s Mother of the Month. All characters, with the exception of Kate Gosselin, are fictional.*******
Can this possibly be made into a Letter to the Ed (albeit a long one?).
Holy horseshit, Batman! GH’s research staff must either be on vacation, or on the Gosselin payroll. Interesting to find out exactly how they make their nominations and choices. I guess Susan Smith wasn’t accepting visitors that day.
#1! I see stupid people~
While I have already written GH under my real name to voice my incredulous and tell them I will no longer being buying their mag (not that I did a whole lot anyway……I mean, Good Housekeeping…….that is almost an oxymoron for me, lol). I am going to send this as a letter to the editor. Hopefully it will shock them a little before they realize that it is actually satire.
And as for Susan Smith…………lol! What a tragedy that was, however:(
As always, thanks for your comments!
I can’t believe that people think that they have such perfect lives and because they are SO perfect that they need to tear down someone elses! WOW! What a crazy world we live in when it comes to the point that we have nothing better to do then to rip someone to shreads! Shame on anyone who talks about the lack of world peace when we can’t even have peace in our own backyard. This is a TV show for heavens sake! get a life people and put your energy to something positive that might make a difference in someones life!
I love this blog…and THANK YOU for pointing out the military. As a wife of a marine I really DO appreciate that you recognize the sacrifice.
But you know, Kate is patritic….HELLOOOO she made that CAKE and butchered those songs
#3Michele~
Thank you for your comments. It is far from “just a TV show”. While they state that this show is not scripted, it is, but the point is, these 8 children are NOT protected by any law, Federal, State, or Actor’s Unions, that offer them protection, emotionally, physically and monetarily.
These are not kids that have a social worker on set with them during filming, an uninterested party, to look our for their best interests. These kids work more hours than any union child actor would be allowed. They have no assurance of privacy, physical or otherwise.
Their parents pimp them to the highest corporate bidder.
It is far more insidious than “just a TV” show. If you have no interest in protecting children from exploitation, that is fine. Good for you. There are, however, many of us out here that are willing to put in the energy, as you say, to make a positive difference in someone’s life.
8 of them.
#4 Jumana~
I thank you for your kind comments:)
I am not military, but when I first heard of this honor being given to Kate Gosselin, the first thing that came to mind was the military wives (and husbands) and their families that have been forever altered by this war.
They go through so much on a daily basis when their loved one is deployed and have to hold down the entire fort, and deal with the emotional roller coaster of maneuvers, the not knowing, the fear and panic of getting the phone call or knock on the door.
And when they are killed or injured. My GOD. I simply cannot fathom why a large woman’s magazine that has been around over 125 years chooses to jump on the corporate pimp wagon of Kate Gosselin, instead of show caseing a mother of true substance.
To me, a military mother would have been an obvious choice!
Here is a direct email to the editor of Good Housekeeping
Marjorie Cubisino at mcubisino@hearst.com
#7 binkie~
I did list the GH mail in email address at the end of my entry, but I do thank you for the direct link:)
It is appreciated!
Well, well, well…….. after a week of people writing in and complaining, their new emails stated that she is not Mother of the Month.
Many, many of us got the first emails over a week ago “thanking us for our thoughts regarding it”. Today they started saying that she is not Mother of the Month.
Score!
Thank you for your post. There are so many woman so much more deserving of Mother of Month than Kate Gosselin. I have no idea what GH was thinking….I have a feeling their staff has never even seen an episode or read anything from the Reading newspapers. I can think of some other type of “mother” of the month, Kate qualifies for.
Please consider signing this petition to cancel the show: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/cancel-jon-and-kate-plus-8
If I see one more person saying “get a life” I’ll scream and cry just like little Katie Irene did on the hair pane to Utah. We all have lives, dear. We are mothers and working women and military people. We have teenagers and babies and kids of all ages. We go to recitals and worry about bills and college looming ahead. We serve our God, our country and our communities. So you GET A FRI@@@@@ life. Sorry, had a Katie Irene moment there. Mine is very full already. I do have room, however, to worry about little children being exploited by their nonworking, perfectly healthy, ridiculously selfish parents.
#11 Barbara~
Thank you so much for your comments, Barbara, they are spot on!
I never read GH. It seems like it would be for the older crowd and not young moms.
You need to send that to the NY POST as an editorial or the Atlanta Journal, USA TODAY. It is well written and reflects perfectly what our society has become. Jon and Kate indeed are fee mongers!!! You can bet your ALDERGATOR on that!!
#13 nccgirl~
Thank you for taking your time to comment, and more so, thank you for “getting it”
It is appreciated!
Dear Moon,
What a FANTABULOUS commentary! I so appreciate a writer who is hilarious AND intelligent. Thank you for making my day even better.
I especially enjoyed the part about throwing away extended family and friends – “…who NEEDS family?”!
“No man is an island…” but Kate Gosselin is and she’s teaching her entire brood how to be little islets. What unhealthy interpersonal relationships Kate and Jon are modeling for their children.
You are a great communicator – please keep writing. I guess what makes what you say so funny is the fact that it could ALL be true and it’s tragic. There’s a real talent in finding the humor in the disastrous and sad; it hits people where they live, only there’s relief at the end of those long dark tunnels. You shine the light, for me, anyway, so well.
I cancelled my subscription to GOOD HOUSEKEEPING following the “photo shoot” episode; I was incensed.
Could you let “nccgirl” know that not all of the mag’s. former readers are “older women”? Some of us voracious readers can’t find enough to read and fall prey to gift subscriptions – ha! Shoot. I still watch “THE HILLS”, even.
I wish you could send your latest masterpiece to all of the above recommended outlets WITHOUT the disclaimers; well, not until the very end. You know, if it was a little longer it’d make a great Sociology project – like “How Americans Have Lost Their Sense of Humor; A Commentary On The Necessity Of Immediate Disclaimers In The Written Word.”
Thanx again!
alana
#15 Alana~
Thanks Alana!
nccgirl: Not all of GH’s readers are old broads!
The first time I wrote GH regarding Kate Gosselin, they wrote back with a standard form letter stating that my opinions were valued, blah, blah, and the letter was being forwarded to the senior editors. Then I sent them the above, and never heard back.
Today in my email I got a letter stating that they were, in next month’s issue, going to print many of the letters, both postive and negative regarding the GH feature of the Gosselins. Yeah, ok, is that so people will buy the mag just to read it and they will have two bumper sales months in a row, or what?
GH is no better than any other corporation that is making money off those kids.
I thank you for your kind comments, and hope that you continue to read
Very funny! I am so entertained by reading your blog and I’m glad to see that GH is (sort of ) “listening.”
“Mother of the Month”
I must re-phrase that to “Motherfucker of the month”.
Sorry. You don’t have to post that I was just being silly. I get that way . . .
I was so inlove with this show and I’m still in love with the kids.. the one person I don’t like its KATE.. she is a nasty person.. I really can not say how she is a mother, but she is nasty to her fans…