Musings’ Friday Follies!
Dec 4th, 2009 by BohemianMoon
Ya gotta rant about your boss? Your spouse? Your family or friends? Or maybe you just want to bitch about the world at large? Vent here!
Ya gotta problem? A burden shared is half a burden!
Ya gotta a couple of giggles to share? Laughter is the best medicine!
TGIF is here and so are Musings Friday Follies!
Let it out on any subject and clean the slate for the wonderful weekend ahead!
(No subject is taboo if presented with decorum, except of course, the Gosselin kids and the “C” word. However, now that we have the word “Twaffle”, the “C” word doesn’t matter so much any longer now does it? 
)
I exercise and eat healthy and am still a size 18. I’ve steadily put on about 5 lbs a year from 40 despite being very active. My activity level is crazy. We operate a farm and a construction business where my husband and I are the only labourers! At daybreak I am out walking my 2-4 miles to clear my mind and limber my joints. I do so much back breaking labour I need this walk. Yesterday we delivered 55 boxes of hardwood flooring to a job site. I carried these to their upper floor while my husband went on tour to find out what else they wanted done. When I got home I had to chop kindling and carry in firewood before picking our daughter up at pre-school. Then she and I walked 3 miles to our woodlot and chopped down some fir trees to string lights on around our house. When she was in bed I went out to the greenhouse for a couple of hours to finish up the flagstone flooring I am laying there. Do you know how heavy flagtone is? And then I crawl into the tub and read for a bit and then sink into bed and do it all over again. I should be buff and ripped and svelte but no, I am mushy and pudgy and that is my rant.
OMG!
The man is 90, a veteran of three wars and received the Congressional medal of honor. Let him fly his flag and remove the pole when he passes away!!!
Jesus people!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,579147,00.html
rural mom~
I know where you are coming from. My mom was in the same boat several years ago. My dad has heart disease, so they eat a very, very healthy diet, she had walked a marathon and a few half-marathons and still was a size 14-16. Then, after my son was born, she joined Weight Watchers with me to be my buddy while I lost my baby weight. She realized that while what she was eating was very healthy food, she wasn’t eating enough. She would be so busy, she would skip meals or just eat a tiny bit on the run. When she started eating more, she started losing weight. Her body was hanging on to the fat because she wasn’t taking in enough and her metabolism had shut down. She lost 30 lbs and is now a size 10.
You sound very busy! Maybe you are in a similar situation? Just thought I would pass on what my mom’s experience was. Best of luck to you. I know how frustrating that can be.
Well we are all moved in to my hubs mothers house. It sucks because this house needs alot of work. I cant stand the clutter, no space, no room for anything, living out of a box, bumping into things and afraid to move things around. I know its going to take a while to get use to. At least my daughter is getting more use to the house.
Know I have to get all my bills together and start paying…
Sorry to hear about your weight problems rural mom. It does sound like you are busy doing work all day. Have you thought about maybe having a small snack in between breaks. A cereal bar, energy bar, some nuts, dried fruit, a piece of fruit or vegetable, yorgert, low fat cottage cheese, low fat cheese few crackers etc..
Try oatmeal or a egg/ piece of toast and juice for breakfast
snack
small salad
snack
dinner
small snack 1 1/2 or 2 before bedtime.
We always think that if we skip a meal or dont eat that we will lose weight. But your body needs fuel to burn the fat and calories.
YOu can also try to detox your system to
Its the maple syrup diet..
I’m a grazer through out the day and I never sit down to eat a meal. I pick and pick. But im a carboholic and sugar addict. I’m trying to curb all of that. Specially the pop drinking.
We have a new curriculum at school that everyone is learning at the same time. No one~not even the higher ups have more training in it than the rest of us lowly worker bees. But I love how they will swoop into my room and point out all the stuff that is wrong with what my partner and I are doing. Then head office comes and we get evaluated and it turns out that we were doing it right in the first place and the supervisors were telling us wrong information.
Let’s see them get down in the trenches with 10 toddlers and do everything. Oh and wear a spotlessly clean white shirt while doing it.
Their amazing new idea. use pudding for paint and icing for glue since they eat everything anyway. I don’t believe in using food for creative. It is a waste of food and teaching them to eat things they are not suppose to.
OK rant over back to work.
Hey Moon! No long no see here! Friend me on facebook! OK – anyway, rural mom – I love the idea that you are not eating enough posted above! That is true, believe it or not! Also, have that thyroid checked! It’s not magic, but it does stop the weight gain!
Okay – it’s been one LONG week – capped off by the bad weather here in Ct. yesterday.
Hubs is a vol. firefighter and went out on an early call yesterday morning. While he was gone, a tree across from our house decided (and pushed by the wind) to fall down, snapped a telephone pole and it all crashed into our driveway – right where my hubs parks his new truck. Good thing he wasn’t home.
Power and cable out all day. EEk. Service to all restored by twilight and more wood for us to burn this winter!
It gave me time to finish reading Andre Agassi’s new book “Open”.
Absolutely fascinating book, really well-written. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover, is so true. Public perception can be so far removed from the reality of what celebrity really is – his book is a real eye-opener.
rural mom, you’re awesome with your work schedule! Sorry to hear about your weight problem. It sounds like you’re so busy taking care your farm & construction business, there’s little time to take care of you. Imho has a great suggestion to check out your thyroid. It might also be helpful see a nutritionist about the right foods and schedule for eating. Most of us, I’m guilty too, rush out of the house w/o eating breakfast, binge eat meals because the day is too busy or eat late at night. I stopped those habits and have been able to lose some weight and keep the weight off. Take care of you. See a nutritionist and/or physical trainer. Might be helpful. Taking care of you is OK because you’ll be healthier and stronger AND you can do more for your farm & construction business. Oh, almost forgot, take care of the stress. Sometimes stress drives the hormones crazy causing weight gain. Good luck!!
Forgot to include this – a laugh to start off the weekend!
Moon – if you’re reading this, hope you’re feeling better and that you faithfully took (and are taking) whatever prescribed “happy pills” you have.
MENTAL AGE TEST
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years old cannot do it.
1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
Good. Now go back and read the third word
in each line from the top down.
HAPPY WEEKEND!
rural mom, maybe you’re supposed to be a big beautiful woman who totally kicks ass! You work like 10 men and you sound healthy and STRONG. Enjoy your power. Who cares about skinny?
As for me, Winter is here, you know how I can tell? The water pipes are frozen solid. No shower for me until the plumber gets here. But, I had a gallon of distilled water for coffee, so I’m not pissed. Yet. LOL.
#2Lisa
OMG!
The man is 90, a veteran of three wars and received the Congressional medal of honor. Let him fly his flag and remove the pole when he passes away!!!
Jesus people!
~~
Lisa, I moved here from same area he’s in, Henrico Co., Richmond, VA a few years back. Henrico Co. for the most part, is populated w/upper middle class homes, families. I happened to live in one of the few townhome communities that wasn’t expensive. (My prop. value doubled in the 11 yrs. I was in my home). I know his subdivision, it’s not an upper middle class one either. With the advent of subdivisions, it appears many have ordinances that restrict you from erecting a clothes line/pole, no disabled cars in the driveway/front of house, no flag poles, no old stoves on the front porch, LOL, but it’s really in the association bylaws. There’s something missing in this story. Is that a new ordinance, did he just move in, etc?
#3Kat
rural mom~
~~
Rural mom, Kat’s right. My sis keeps trying to lose weight and complains cuz all she eats is one meal a day and has some yogurt otherwise. I keep telling her it’s a proven fact, that to keep your metabolism ‘pumping’ it needs to have ‘fuel’ to keep it going. Try and eat 5-6 mini meals a day, it sounds like that is exactly what you are doing, forgetting to eat. Honestly, when would you have time w/all the work you do? I was exhausted reading your post! LOL
No rants today. But this is a guaranteed smile:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgbNymZ7vqY
Well, I have the continued rant that I don’t feel well, wa wa waaaaaa!
I do want to thank Web Boy, however, for keeping Musings moving along and taking the time to write a couple of entries. I particularly liked the one on PETA; the crazy ass hypocrites they are. The revolt me and have for years. The problem is, I don’t think that enough people really know about the underbelly dark side of PETA and how little they actually do for animals, which is nothing, except kill them.
I hate that organization with a passion. Now all PETA supporters, come out of the woodwork and call me a “Hatur”. It’s not like I haven’t even been called THAT one before. BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
(Now where is that bottle of Vicodin?)
cj~
No rants today. But this is a guaranteed smile:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgbNymZ7vqY
You are correct, lol, that made me smile (which hurts btw – pleasure/pain/pleasure/pain).
Mama? (I loved that!)
Rant here…
Every year my brother’s family sends out my nephew’s Christmas wish list. Normally this wouldn’t bug me but THIS year it seems a little over-the-top and extravagant because so many people are hurting. This year I feel uncomfortable about having to buy Christmas presents for my nephew. Sure, it’s an efficient way to save time from having to answer questions about what my nephew wants for Christmas; but what about being happy with whatever he gets?
I have been unemployed for a year and so it’s hard to shell out money when I’m not sure if my benefits will continue. It also irritates me because my brother’s family is SO BLESSED with stable jobs, a custom built home, nice cars. It’s like they haven’t even been touched by the hard times.
When I was working I would love to buy Christmas presents for my family. I love to give! I think it’s more rewarding than receiving. I love to spoil my dear mom with presents.
I’m feeling really “small” because I’m not going with the program and buying him the newest Nerf toy that he will throw away in a month.
Thanks for allowing me to vent.
Laura~
I’m feeling really “small” because I’m not going with the program and buying him the newest Nerf toy that he will throw away in a month.
There is no reason for you to feel small. The ones that should are your nephew’s parents for requesting extravagant items in general, but particularly in this economy.
I love, love, love gift giving! It is one of my favorite things to really search for something that will be appreciated and loved and that doesn’t mean that a hefty price tag has to come with it! The gifts that I have received over the years – the ones that I treasure most came from the heart. Poems or stories that my son has written are some of my most treasured.
With all that said, could you make a family suggestion that a limit be put on the amount one spends on one person? We did this in my extended family last year and it worked out very well. If they are not open to that, then I would tell them that you may be veering from dear nephew’s wish list and giving within your budget. If they don’t think that is good enough for junior, then F ‘em. Perhaps they will finally understand that not all are doing as well as others these last years and perhaps it is time for that realization and exercising empathy ( assuming they can garner some) and understanding for others.
Good luck and please keep us updated!
Thanks Moon! I really appreciate your kind words. I will update as needed.
Rural Mom~
I feel for you. In the last 3.5 years I have gained 50 pounds. I continue to gain about 2 pounds every month. Every year I have to buy new clothes cause my pants don’t fit. I don’t get it. Nothing has really changed, at least I don’t think it has. The only thing really big is the increased amounts of stress.
My suggestions are 1. get sleep – if you don’t get enough sleep you gain weight 2. eat small amounts continuously (like mentioned above) 3. Reduce stress if you have it!
Stress causes cortisol to be released in massive amounts (we all have some, just not these amounts); cortisol causes some weird reaction (with our “fat cells?”) and we gain weight. Sorry, I really don’t understand the whole thing. Anyone?
#20 alana~
It has something to do with high cortisol levels resulting in a rise in blood sugar and digestion slowing down. I think.
Alright, ladies. Kat’s about to slap a bitch. I have a twenty-something, single, childless, full-time student, no job grad student in my group for my final project for my class. Over the last month, she has brought NOTHING to the table during our meetings. She has not met deadlines we set for gathering data, rough drafts, powerpoint slides, etc. We gave our presentation on Wednesday minus one group member because she gave birth several weeks early. She had her part done, we just had to redistribute her presentation material. This other chick did not get her ppt slides done until Tuesday night and they were missing a lot of essential information. Not only that, what little info she did include was totally incoherent. I emailed her Tuesday night with my concerns, some suggestions, etc. She ignored my email completely. She showed up right before class, so we just had to go with what we had. It was the most embarrassing presentation I have ever been a part of. Ever. She hadn’t practiced what she was going to say, what she did say didn’t make sense, her thoughts were all over the place, etc. Afterward, during the Q & A time, other classmates where asking us questions that mostly started with “I’m a little confused about…” Our professor asked to see us after class. She was concerned and wanted to make sure we were going to be including all the details in our final paper, which is due this coming Wed. I was so angry, but I manage to say that we had very carefully planned all the details of our project, but that they weren’t conveyed in our presentation.
So, i sent an email to my group telling them to send me their parts of the paper by Sunday at 5:00 so that I can put it all together and send it back out for them to review. I did this because if that bitch doesn’t email me her part of the paper by Sunday evening, I’m going to write it myself! I’m not getting a shitty grade that is worth 50% of my semester grade because of her lazy ass.
So, here is my question. I understand that we are going to be evaluating our group members, but we haven’t been given a form or instructions on how the prof wants this done. I have never needed to give a group member a bad eval, but this time I am! I don’t really know how to say it all in a professional way because I am so angry right now. And, if my prof doesn’t end up giving us eval forms, I still want to email her and tell her what a nightmare this has been, especially if I have to write the girl’s part. So, how do I go about it? If we don’t get an eval form, is it still in good taste to blast this girl to the prof through email?
#16 Laura
I feel for you girl. My husband was an underground bituminous coal miner where he was a roof bolter.The mining industry started to go down hill in Pennsylvania in the mid 70’s. Suffering through hubs working only 2-3 days per week than finally the mine closed. We were now on the unemployment treadmill. It was so hard. We cut back as much as possible to make ends meet. We left our life insurance lapse, (I don’t advise anyone to do that!)stopped all newspapers and magazine subscriptions AND buying for family members for Christmas. My hubs sister was angry. She gave us the old “It’s better to give then receive” speech and said “She was going to buy for us anyway.” So Christmas rolled around and low and behold they came bearing gifts. We opened them up and thanked them. Her kids stood there with their mouths hanging open because they got nothing from us. I felt sorry for their kids but we told them nicely that we were only buying for our own girls and our parents so to hell with them. They were warned. The next year rolled around they didn’t buy for us either. I guess they got the hint. My hubs now has a good job for a small company. Doesn’t make the wages he made in the coal mines but were happy and doing o.k.
Laura, I hope the new year is kind to you and things start looking up for you. Good luck.
I had been waiting for Fri. to rant, but the ‘old’ rant, got superceded by a new one. Now the old one is just fluff! Remember I had applied w/my mortgage co. in April of this yr. for mortgage relief in the hopes of getting pmts. reduced? Then, 4 mos. later, my mortgage got sold as the original co. went bankrupt. Sooo, I started the process all over w/the new co., sending my new packet in to them early Oct. As I have been doing, I called today to find out where in the process my appl. is, and you guessed it! My mortgage has been sold again, effective 16th of this mo. I was in such shock when he told me, that other than going postal on him and asking a few questions, I couldn’t think straight. I’m calling back on Mon. w/more questions, and asking them to see if they can’t run my papers through before the 16th. I’m sure the answer will be no, then I may have to resort to what dtr. #2 suggested right after the first sale of my mortgage. Call the new co. and ask them why I’m getting a statement for say $1000 when the previous co. had approved me for a reduction of say, $400 so now my pmt. is $600. She was kidding of course, but I’m real tempted!
I’m angry. I’m fast reaching the point of just not caring anymore. So, what should have taken 5-6 mos. tops, will now drag on to probably at least a yr. IF they don’t sell it again. As least my savings accnt. got boosted a bit when SS awarded me disability last mo. and sent me the retroactive back $$. I’m probably good for another 8-10 mos. now, assuming nothing major comes up.
Laura, send your brother a Christmas list from YOU. Be sure to include on your list:
1. One year’s worth of mortgage pmts.
2. Ditto, groceries.
3. Ditto, utilities
4. A years worth of gas for your car
5. You get the idea! LOL
Yeah, I’m being nasty now, but you gotta admit, it’s kinda tempting, isn’t it?
Moon, so glad you’re back. We missed you. Sorry you’re still feeling the pain! Did you have 8 extractions, or was this another step in the process?
#22 Kat
I absolutely would ’share’ the situation w/the professor! I might do it face to face rather than email, but you’d be the best judge of that. No more “Mr. Nice Guy”, that’s my new mantra! Say it w/me Kat….NO. MORE. MR. NICE. GUY. There, doesn’t that feel good?
Linda said:
Laura, send your brother a Christmas list from YOU. Be sure to include on your list:
1. One year’s worth of mortgage pmts.
2. Ditto, groceries.
3. Ditto, utilities
4. A years worth of gas for your car
5. You get the idea! LOL
Yeah, I’m being nasty now, but you gotta admit, it’s kinda tempting, isn’t it?
____________________________________
Bruawawawaaaaa! I love it!!
I was thinking about doing that to make a point.
My brother and his control freak wife make Christmas very difficult for me and my parents. After 8 years of my brother’s wife controlling Christmas, I decided I don’t give an “F” anymore and I’m just doing my own thing. I found out earlier this evening that they aren’t even having extended family over for Christmas dinner. So what are we going to do – just drop the gifts at the door and be on our way. Merry frickin’ Christmas.
Last year my parents and I went over to my bro’s house for Christmas dinner and gift exchange. Well that was a mess. My mom got a gift that was addressed to someone else. T-A-C-K-Y! I don’t care what I get from them – honestly I don’t want anything. But it was obvious that they had thrown stuff together at the last minute. They gave me a washcloth and a bar of french milled soap as a gift. Seriously. I was gracious and said thank you. But I just look at them and think how do they have the balls to pull this shit off. I feel embarassed for them.
Something positive…
I found MI-5 episodes on Netflix! WoooHooo. I’ve been watching re-runs on PBS and I fell in love with the show. I love Rupert Penry Jones who plays Adam Carter on MI-5.
Kat~ Oh boy do I hate group projects. In my experience profs don’t really care if a group member is bad. And usually when you get an evaluation form it has a scale and then a part for comments. I would defiantly rate her bad. I had a similar problem earlier this year with 2 group members, me and the other girl were going to give them zeros, until they dropped the course 3 days before the presentation was due. Which in the end was better, but super stressful! Good Luck.
Kat and Fallingstar – Have either of you had experiences with bad math teachers? I’m going back to school to work on my degree and I had a horrendous algebra teacher. She didn’t teach algebra – she reviewed it. I only started learning when I read Cliff Notes for Algebra.
I ended up dropping the class and will re-take it next semester. I feel like I’m in junior college math hell.
#30 Laura~
Yep. I basically had to teach myself biostatistics from the book a few years ago. Obviously, the professor was very, very intelligent and I think that was the problem. He simply couldn’t bring it down to our level, which was beginning level, when he had a PhD in the stuff! I don’t want to lump all math profs in the same group, but in my experience and from talking to others, a lot of wildly smart math brain professors aren’t the greatest teachers.
Linda & fallingstar~
Oh, I’m going to talk to my prof. For sure!! I guess because I am older now, I’m not going to just let this go! I’m just wondering how to word all this because I’ve never had to do it before. I also wish I could tell off this group member but I am so not a confrontational person. I have sent her multiple emails regarding incomplete work from her end, etc. and I saved them all. I also saved all her emails giving her excuses for not having her work done yet.
Linda~
You are kidding!! Why are they selling your mortgage so many times? I know it happens, but this much? I would be so frustrated if I were you! Heck, I’m frustrated for you!!! I would go ahead and call on Monday to see if they can push it through. Monday is only the 7th, so really, they SHOULD have enough time, but I know how what should happen doesn’t always happen in reality. Best of luck.
Kate~
Oh my goodness! You bought back traumatic memories of similar incidences when I was going through graduate school! I’m was in the SAME boat as you and had a difficult time figuring out what to do. It took two incidences that are very similar to yours before I figured out what to do.
First, I would tame down the emotion of the incident. Most professors are open to hearing the problem backed up with a request for help and reconsideration of the group’s grade. Everything is negotiable. In my first incident a group of us were very anger but we decided to talk with the professor, in a low key way, described how we split up the group’s responsibilities then asked that the group member who failed her part be given a separate grade. It worked. In the 2nd incident, we approached the situation in a similar way and were given a ‘makeup’ presentation opportunity, minus the group member. That caused a little bit of uncomfortable feelings in class. There was no time for strike 3, thereafter if there were group presentations, a small group of us ‘work horses’ decided to review the syllabus in the beginning of the quarter. Then we pre-selected group members, no more than 3-5 members, who had proven records of follow through. Great strategy because I graduated with a 3.75 GPA.
Good luck with your paper! With your efforts, I’m hoping you’ll get an awesome grade!!! BTW, talk to your professor. Sometimes sending an email comes back to haunt you if the professor decides to forward it to someone…you never know.
#31Kat
Oh, I’m going to talk to my prof. For sure!! I guess because I am older now, I’m not going to just let this go! I’m just wondering how to word all this because I’ve never had to do it before. I also wish I could tell off this group member but I am so not a confrontational person. I have sent her multiple emails regarding incomplete work from her end, etc. and I saved them all. I also saved all her emails giving her excuses for not having her work done yet.
———————————-
I hated group projects when I was in school. My oldest daughter coincidentally had this problem with a group-mate in one of her engineering classes just this past week. The project is for 50% of their grade. The group consists of 4 girls and my daughter said for the most part, all was organized and the slacker girl ’said’ she was working on her portion. Right before Thanksgiving, the group met to put together all of the portions of the project, to edit, etc. That is when they discovered that slacker girl hadn’t done a thing on the project and her excuse was that she had plenty of time since it the project wasn’t due until December 4. As the group was working on editing, final designs, blueprints, etc (they are in architectural engineering and had to design a building that could be used for future needs on campus) the slacker decides that she needed to take a break for an hour, so she left the engineering lab and said she’d be back in an hour. 2-1/2 hours later, she wasn’t back, so one of the group members called her. Slacker girl was in a bar — drinking! The girl who called her blasted her out and about an hour later, she came back to the engineering labs. At that point, my daughter was angry and told her off and I guess a shouting match ensued which caught the attention of other engineering students in the lab (daughter said they are now known as the ‘drama group’). Slacker girl got ticked off and left. Of course, to let the others finish up the work (except her portion). The remaining girls emailed their professors (they have two for this class), told them that they may not have a portion of their project due to slacker (didn’t mention her name) and that if the portion was indeed not completed, they wanted the profs to know why. The profs took it seriously, met with each group member separately, and then met with the group (this was all done a few days before they had to present the project yesterday). The profs then told slacker girl that her performance as a group member was inexcusable and as a future engineer, she was unprofessional. They told her that her grade would be negatively affected and they would judge her portion of the project more critically since her group work was a failure. Daughter told me last night that the 3-D model that Slacker girl did was atrocious, that it looked like a 12-year old did it, and that she hoped the girl would have to re-take the class.
(sorry so long — but it does illustrate that profs will listen if you lay out strong evidence)
My advice to you is to contact the professor, let him/her know of your concerns and let him/her know you have emails showing your desire to work with your group-mate and that you don’t want group-mate’s sub-par effort to effect your grade. You have a legitimate gripe and should not have to ’suffer’ because of the laziness of a slacker.
BohemianMoon~
Your posting was too funny! But I’m sorry for your pain. “This too shall pass!” Watch your pain level & keep the Vicodin close
Friday slipped away before I could sumit my rantings. Maybe because the ranting was too insane and hurtful. I’ll try.
The court system is CRAZY! My daughter went through a messy divorce. A child custody evaluator, who was supposed to be neutral and impartial, submitted her evaluation that was biased and skewed in favor of her ex. Of course the evaluator was, the ex’s lawyer referred the evaluator for the case. The evaluator had numerous errors in her reporting, no facts, just ‘he said.’ The evaluator omitted critical information that was fact based with evidence. The evaluator included lengthy information about the ex’s brother, that had no relevance to the divorce (sounded like she had a crush on the ex’s brother). The evaluator presented information that was NOT balanced or equitable.
My husband is upset because in our interview process that was 5 hrs long, in the evening, after work and we were exhausted, she NEVER took notes or recorded the session. When she reported information about our home, the facts were wrong. Example, “…the family lived in M—.” WRONG, we lived in “W—” Another example, “…the family lives in a 3 bdrm-1 bath home.” WRONG, we live in a 3 bedrm-2 bath home. There is so much info that was wrong, it’s maddening.
So we’ve decided to wait until we receive the official copy of the report. We will go through the report point by point then figure out our next step. It was evident that the evaluator was trying to pursuade the court to give our daughter the least amount of child custody possible.
The outcome was a bit shocking for the ex.
1. Joint legal custody,
2. Primary custody/shared custody awarded to our daughter
3. Child support, which he was trying to NOT pay, paid until 18 y/o
5. Medical/dental paid in full by the ex
6. Private school, paid in full by the ex
7. Name change – hyphenating our granddaughter’s name to include our name, of course he was crazy mad
8. AND when he retires from the Army, because our daughter is the 1st wife, the court ordered that she would receive 1/2 of his retirement.
Our daughter would have given ALL of that up if the ex had given her full physical custody. Now it’s that a crazy post-Friday ranting!
Sorry if my post-Friday ranting was lengthy BUT I seriously need to vent somewhere!!
Now we know the ex is CRAZY because he texted our daughter yesterday afternoon, asking if he could have our grddaughter for the day — of course it’s our daughter’s time AND the ex will have her next week. Where the hell is his brain cells?!
Background info about the divorce. From 2006 – 2008, he paid a total of $400.00 child support, maybe less. We helped our daughter with everything to care for our grddaughter. She is an incredible mom who works a full-time job AND has been caring the majority of the time for our grddaughter. Her lawyer suspects they will be back in court within 6 mons because he will not be able to fulfill the court order. We shall see!
Imi50 ~
Quick question. If the ex-SIL is in the Army, why aren’t they garnishing his pay for child support?
Linda~
Moon, so glad you’re back. We missed you. Sorry you’re still feeling the pain! Did you have 8 extractions, or was this another step in the process?
Pain is still here, but getting somewhat better.
The procedure that I started was for a hybrid fixed upper denture. If you are not familiar with them you can read about them here: http://www.hybridgeimplants.com/?gclid=CPnFvMrnv54CFWpd5Qode1gmpg – this isn’t the dental group I use, but it is a good explanation of the appliance.
I have always had issues with my upper dentition – since I was a teen and have spent thousands, and I mean thousands, on it over the years. I have always tried my best to take care of my oral hygiene, but no matter what, I have always had issues. Some are due to genetics and some due to prior less than desirable dental work – root canals that failed, etc. My father was the same way and wore dentures from the time he was a relatively young man (early 30s or so) due to genetics. Ironically, his father was a dentist
With this last bout of an abscess (I have had many over the years) and another loose molar on the back right in September, I decided that this procedure and appliance would be the best for me for my overall health – not just dental but overall. Abscesses are very, very dangerous and let me tell you, when I leave this earth plane, I don’t want it to be because of an dental abscess. The bottom line with my upper dentition is that no matter what I do and SPEND, I continue to have problems. The current prevailing school of thought is to save the teeth at all costs (bwahhahaha, costs, yeah to whom?) and I agree with that to a limited point, but once the corner has been turned that “saving the teeth at all costs” is an every 6 month procedure, including scaling and injection of antibiotics in addition to other procedures, it is time to look to other alternatives because obviously they can’t be saved in the long run. I have been doing the “save the teeth thing” for about 10 years now and it is time for some relief – monetary and physical. I have a great dentist and oral surgeon up here and in September/October we all decided that this was the best long term plan as my upper dentition was not healthy and the band aid approach was costly, stressful, painful and clearly was not working.
Interestingly enough, my bottom dentition has never given me much issue in my life except for two cavities and is in good health.
SOOOOOOOOO, on Tuesday I had 11 teeth extracted and 8 implants put in. The implants will hold the hybrid denture about 5 months from now, lol. It is called permanent because for all intents and purposes, it is. It is taken out by one’s dentist, once a year and the implants cleaned/evaluated. The appliance itself is as close as one can get to real teeth without the cost of individual implants which would have run about $45,000 +. Uh, no thanks
One cleans and flosses/water pics their teeth/gums just as before, and as I stated, the appliance is taken out only once a year by one’s dentist. The hybrid is close to the velocity of real teeth and chewing is no problem, even with the hardest of foods – because it is fixed obviously it doesn’t slip, etc.
My surgery was a tough procedure. It was supposed to be 2 hours max and ran about 4.5. I had sedation dentistry, but it wasn’t working for me so well. They also ran into two major infections/abscesses that did not show on the last x-rays they took and that was a bit of a mess apparently – I kind of remember it and I REALLY remember the continued shots of Novocaine, which I should not of, but I did. They ended up giving me Vicodin before we left and I don’t remember taking that, the half hour ride home, or getting into the house and in bed – at all. I was told I moaned the whole way though, lol!
I have a temporary appliance now to wear while my gums heal. I don’t like it. It doesn’t fit well and actually my dentist (he does the appliance/cosmetic part) told me that I didn’t have to wear it when I didn’t want to. If I were getting traditional dentures I would have to, but I have leeway with the implants. I go back on the 14th for a soft liner for it and my gums are healing pretty well, so it won’t feel so invasive for much longer. It looks good and that is about all I can say about that at this point in time
Obviously I have only been eating soft, soft foods, but the good news is, I will probably drop about 10 pounds and that is an extra benefit, IMO
It has been a bit tricky making sure that I get all the nutrients that I need, but I have been drinking Ensure, vitamin water and Danactive as well with a great deal of regular water. Mashed potatoes and scrambled eggs are my friend:) Oh and milk shakes. Damn, Web Boy makes a good milk shake.
Hubs has been wonderful as always – always checking up and seeing if I need anything or want company, etc. He is a good nursemaid as is Web Boy.
So there you have it – my novella regarding the procedure. I know that you were interested as you are thinking about something like this for yourself, yes?
For the rest of you – if I bored you I am assuming that you didn’t make it this far so I don’t feel bad about taking up an entire page with a post about my dental woes –
cj~
Our daughter was trying to be ‘nice’ to him because he claimed hardship, ha, ha, ha. What a joke. Let see hardship when he make $5,000 a mon? I don’t think so.
Now that the mess has been settled. The garnishment will start when Child Support Agency receives the court documents.
We’re not finished with the joker. The next step is to meet with JAG to determine how much of the base allowance of housing, dependent pay and other back pay will be owed. He went to court hoping to punish our daughter. Wow, talk about instant karma.
BohemianMoon~ OWWWWWWW! I read through your description and was REALLY FEELING the PAIN! Yikes! You’re so blessed to have a wonderful husband & son to take care of you!!
Watch out for the milk shakes, the weight will sneak up on you! Hee, hee, hee! Nah, you’ll probably lose 10 lbs because the soft type foods will get boring. Slim & trim – a bonus after the operation.
Thanx for keeping the blogs going for people like me who need to VENT about the craziness of life! MUCH APPRECIATION!
Imi50 ~
Thanks for the info. Not that it’s any of my business, but I’d always heard that the military didn’t mess around with support payments. Hope that your daughter is now able to get all the delinquent support from past years.
Fortunately that was something I never had to worry about. Told the A-hole how much I needed to keep the kids in food/ clothes/ housing/ etc … never dealt with support court. I had a secret weapon – My ex MIL. I was never her favorite person, it was all about her son. But when he walked out the door to live with his secretary, she was not pleased … ‘you don’t leave your family’.
Moon, what a sadistic story! Geez, the general anes. didn’t even work??? OMG, I cannot imagine having any awareness of the procedure you went through. YUK, I know you’re glad it’s over with though. This time next year, it will all be a dim memory, and you’ll be chomping on anything you want! LOL Keep taking your vicodin til all the pain, for the most part, is gone. I hate dental/oral procedures. I just don’t think the measly dental ins. I have would do anything for me, but I’m going to call and ask about it. Take care of yourself and don’t get tempted to start cracking open any pistachios!! Ouch!
Kat
And, if my prof doesn’t end up giving us eval forms, I still want to email her and tell her what a nightmare this has been, especially if I have to write the girl’s part. So, how do I go about it?
~~
Kat, that was a good point someone (Bobbi, IMO?) made about maybe not wanting the ’stories’ henceforth, being put into writing. I assume your fellow project members (minus slacker and new mom) are inclined as you are? IF it’s an individual reporting scenario as opposed to your whole group, you are always so well ’spoken’, you won’t have any problem speaking w/the prof., you’ll do great! Good luck!
Moon~
Holy cow!!! I had no idea! Wow – that’s about all I can muster after reading about your ordeal. Sending healing vibes your way. Take care!
Linda~
Everyone else in the group has done her share and a great job. I have a feeling the other group members feel the way I do, but we haven’t really spoken about it. Since I am returning to grad school after a two year leave of absence, I have never had any of these people in a class or group. So, I don’t know who is friends with whom. That’s why I have been very careful about what I say and what I put in emails. I talked with hubby about it again this morning and I think I will ask to walk with the prof back to her office immediately following class and talk to her in person. I just need to go over what I want to say in my head so that my concerns come across the way they are intended.
Kat, please let us know how it goes.
Moon-
Sending you big hugs!!!
Been thinking of you mucho!!
Imi50~
Watch out for the milk shakes, the weight will sneak up on you! Hee, hee, hee! Nah, you’ll probably lose 10 lbs because the soft type foods will get boring. Slim & trim – a bonus after the operation.
At this juncture, I need the calories. I really can’t eat anything except for super mushy things. Today’s menu consisted of mashed potatoes, vitamin water, an Ensure, a lemon yogurt, some tapioca pudding, lots of regular water and a woman’s vitamin. I am going to have a blueberry milkshake in a little while. It has been a step up from chicken broth and water
Bon appetit!
Imi50~
Our daughter would have given ALL of that up if the ex had given her full physical custody. Now it’s that a crazy post-Friday ranting!
I don’t understand why she would have had to give up anything if she had full physical custody, unless you mean sole custody, and even then, with the military it was my understanding that child support for the child of a military man or woman is taken right out of their paychecks via wage garnishment, starting with the first court order of support, whether the divorce is finished or not, and even if support still is at issue – if the couple don’t agree, or agree and one is not paying it, her lawyer should have filed an Emergency Motion for Support of a Minor, and as soon as it was granted, those papers should have gone straight to Military HR and the superiors of the officer – his or her wages would have been immediately garnished starting with their next paycheck. If they were in arrears, that too would have been paid out of their paycheck. I did family law in Florida for years in a paralegal capacity and that is how it worked re: the State of Florida. I don’t know what state you are in so obviously it may be different.
Also regarding the evaluator, usually they are court appointed and not from a referral from either side. I find that very suspect. What does her attorney say about that? I find it odd and terribly unfair that that was allowed. In Florida, the opposing side would immediately make a motion for a court appointed evaluator that is a disinterested party. On the chance that the person that was appointed was friends with either attorney and could not be impartial, then a Motion for Dismissal would have been filed and a new evaluator appointed. Either way, if the evaluator was not going by the rules of an evaluation – what the Rules of Civil Procedure state is within their scope of a full and impartial evaluation, her lawyer should motion the court for a new evaluator to be appointed and to meet the burden of their job description by following the letter of how an evaluation should be conducted.
I feel for your daughter. I chased child support for years. It still makes me angry at times when I think about it.
Hang in there!
Kat~
I think I will ask to walk with the prof back to her office immediately following class and talk to her in person. I just need to go over what I want to say in my head so that my concerns come across the way they are intended.
I think that this is a good plan. Please keep us updated. I am very interested in what she has to say!
Hang in there!
Moon,
Glad you are back with us! You are brave! What a procedure. I can’t imagine what you went through. Are you still on the Vicodin or some other pain meds? Thank God for Web Boy and your Hubs – they are taking good care of you. Sending you good thoughts for a speedy recovery!!
Merette~
Glad you are back with us! You are brave! What a procedure. I can’t imagine what you went through. Are you still on the Vicodin or some other pain meds? Thank God for Web Boy and your Hubs – they are taking good care of you. Sending you good thoughts for a speedy recovery!!
Awww thanks, I appreciate that
I wish there was a prescription pain killer that really agreed with me, but they really don’t. The Vicodin was great for the first day and day after. From that time, however, it was making me sick to my stomach. I think it just built up in my system and was too much. They switched me to Oxycodone, but it wasn’t much better. I am doing fine on Tylenol and Tylenol PM at night. Actually yesterday and today I have only taken Tylenol PM at night and nothing else during the day. I just took my Tylenol PM and should be moving on to sleepy bye land within an hour
It works well for me which I am happy about. The less heavy duty drugs I had to take, the better. My system just doesn’t handle them well.
when i was like 8 i had eye sugery and they gave me pills and they did not agree with me. projectile vomit
Got slacker’s part of the paper. Horrendously horrendous. Basic grammar errors, unorganized, serious holes…basically just like her presentation. I have spent the past hour correcting grammar (she apparently doesn’t know how to use is/are correctly), filling in the gaps, and rearranging paragraphs. I sent out an email asking for the other group members’ opinions on ALL parts of the paper just to see what they have to say. I attached her original part. (I copied and pasted it into another document that I am doctoring.) I am curious to see if anyone has the guts to email me and say something about her part. If not, I guess I will put the paper together and email it out with a note that says I saw some areas that needed fixing and elaboration and I hope they don’t mind me changing things. Not sure how else I can handle it. I just want to make it to Wednesday and be done with this class. And talk to the prof because this is ridiculous!
Moon, I’m so glad you’re back and doing well (under the circumstances).
I HATE dental work. I have had way too many root canals and one extremely painful extraction. (It was a back molar and the dentist literally put his foot up on the back of the chair to get leverage while pulling….fun!)
I cannot fathom what you went through. You are one strong lady and I admire your strength and calm through it all
Musings Rocks! (can I be the unofficial cheerleader of Musings? lol)
Moon,
Glad you are up and about now.
I am like you when it comes to harder pain killers. Goes right to gut and then out!
I found out in the hospital that Morphine does not agree with my system at all. Even the nurses said I was totally out of it. I could not keep my eyes open and from what I gathered..it was not a high dose.
Percoset..pukes
I have had some luck with Vicoden but I never take a whole pill. Just half. Maybe that is why I have not upchucked on them yet.
Slowly, I am doing better. I am still smoke free. It has been 20 days. I still want one but I have not driven to the store to get any so I guess I am doing good.
Heidi~
Slowly, I am doing better. I am still smoke free. It has been 20 days. I still want one but I have not driven to the store to get any so I guess I am doing good.
Excellent news, glad you are doing better
BohemianMoon~
Sorry to hear that the pain killers weren’t working so well for you. Its probably because your system is so clean! Its good to hear the alternate plan is working for you. I had the same reaction when I had to take pain killers during and after cancer treatment. Tylenol didn’t work. I split the Vicodin tablet in half and took the meds with food. That worked so much better. After 20 months of cancer treatment, I now have a pain condition. Neuropathy (nerves are damaged) in my hands and feet and constant joint pain, 24/7. Guess my system isn’t so clean now because I take 1/2 tab of Vicodin every 4-6 hrs, dependent on the pain level. It works.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for your feedback about my post-Friday ranting!!!!! My daughter is meeting with her lawyer this week!! She was fighting for sole physical custody and joint legal. The judge awarded primary physical and joint legal.
The advice she received from her lawyer, who is ex-Jag was to handle the civil divorce 1st then proceed with military issue 2nd. She will also meet with a JAG officer this week to discuss dependent rights and what the military can do to insure she receives full benefits.
She would give up the child support and everything else if she received SOLE physical custody. Thank you, thank you for this little light of hope. At least the tears have subsided and she’s smiling now.
Moon and Heidi , glad to hear you are both feeling better. My son in law who had surgery on his retina two weeks ago is having another surgery tomorrow. His vision is still very blurry after two weeks and has fluid building up behind the eye. So tomorrow he is having some sort of bubble put in to displace the fluid. Please keep him in your thoughts. He is a teacher so he gets no disability, he can’t see to drive and the worst is he can’t be the hands on dad he usually is to my 5 month old grandson. Thanks
#57Imi50
Neuropathy (nerves are damaged) in my hands and feet and constant joint pain, 24/7. Guess my system isn’t so clean now because I take 1/2 tab of Vicodin every 4-6 hrs, dependent on the pain level. It works.
~~
Imi50, have you talked to your Dr. about Lyrica? It’s a nerve pain medicine, I wonder if it would work for you. Also, while I don’t know of too many people Neurontin, (another nerve med.) has worked for, it’s worth asking about.
#58jerzgurl822
I’ll keep your SIL in my prayers. I know that is a crucial surgery, please keep us posted.
OT, jerzgurl822, didn’t you mention awhile back that you had 2 knee replacements done? Did you do them both at the same time? If so (or not) were you pleased w/your new knees? Also, someone told me today there is such a thing now as ‘female’ knee replacement apparatur, have you heard of that? I need both done, and I don’t want to drag it out and do 2 sep. surgeries, but I’ve never been happy w/my partial knee replacments. Supposedly the total knee repl. is so much better and that I would be very pleased.
Linda: Thanks. I did have total knee replacements in July of 07. It was the best thing I ever did. I was 48 and felt like 88. I had them both done together. It took my ortho 7 hours because one was really really screwed up. I had the surgery on Friday and was in rehab Monday. Two and a half weeks later, I was home and able to sort of take care of myself. I don’t know about the female knee, I think it is a marketing ploy. When I had mine the big thing was computerized fit. Well, my doctor had three reps there and once he got in and looked, he picked the best knee for me. I have Oxinium knees. I can’t kneel and or squat but I couldn’t do that before my surgery anyway. I can walk without pain, stand for long periods of time AND play with my grandson. If you are physically capable, I would do them together. One surgery and one recovery. I was back to work in 7 weeks. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask. There is also a message board for knee replacements that is very helpful if you want the link. Good luck!
@Kat
I feel your pain and hate, hate, hate group projects. Even though group work is 95% of real world situations, raises accurately reflect perseonnel contributions (bosses figure this out pretty quickly.) These stupid-ass ,yet very popular college”team” presentations are an acedmician’s poor excuse for exercises justified as job readiness skills. My experience shows there is frequently one member who acts the way you described. No amount of emails, threats, or requests will get her portion of work to you . While such people do exit in the real world, either they lose their posistions or you get promoted above them them. I would definately find a way to let the prof know how unevenly the work was produced. You have a lot of valid points. Here’s to hoping there is a BITE ME check box on the eval form.
Hi Linda! Thanks for your suggestions!
My awesome PC doc tried both meds. I was on Neurontin for almost a year. My doc recommended morning and evening dose but the morning dose made me feel groggy & my cognition was a bit cloudy. So I only took a dose at night to help me with sleep. Lyrica was NOT a match. Dosing in the daytime was terrible. It took the pain away but I could barely function. My equilibrium was thrown off, I felt as if I was drunk, yuck! I tried taking only an evening dose. I was able to sleep, felt no pain but woke up in the morning feeling like I was hung over, nauseated and could barely walk. I experience pain 24/7 but manage it pretty well. Mind over matter. I practice relaxation techniques, 1/2 tab of Vicodin and sometimes dissociate from the pain (ha, ha, ha!). In the day, I am usually too busy to focus on the pain. Its there, but I just work through it. BUT AT NIGHT, that’s a different story. 1 tab of Vicodin, sleep relaxation techniques and I can usually get at least 6 hrs of good sleep.
I love my family, we have everything we need to make us happy. I have a good life, but most importantly I am alive. I have been in remission for 3 years! Life is good!
#62 NonTraditionalStudent~
Hee hee. Thanks. I needed that with my morning coffee. Yesterday, while my student teacher was teaching, I checked my email and of course slacker girl is the only one who responded to my request for opinions. She said she thought it looked great and “didn’t need any editing at all!” Seriously?!? Did she read her own part? Is she from this planet? Luckily, the lady who had her baby prematurely (did I mention that part?) sent me her part and it was fabulous! Plus, it seems slacker girl wasn’t really paying attention in our meetings because she wrote some of the other lady’s part and this lady did an amazing job. So, I just deleted about 2 paragraphs of slacker girl’s writing and inserted the other lady’s writing. Finally this paper is starting to look good. I emailed it out last night asking for opinions, so we’ll see what everyone has to say. I just want this damn thing turned in already!!
By the way, I KNOW you all wanted a play-by-play of my class drama, right?
Thanks for letting me vent. The hubby told me yesterday that while he understands my frustration, he is tired of hearing about it. 
He said if I don’t talk to the prof, he is going to be mad at me.
My point about when I checked my email was that when I read what she said, I laughed so hard out loud, all my first graders and my student teacher stopped and looked at me. It is almost humorous to be that clueless.
@Kat, Yeah it is funny-but frustrating. A lot of my classes share an online site that can be wonderful for prof announcements, asking for, and getting clarification, and for providing links to extra information. And they also have chat rooms. Some of the same people repeatedly ask for copies of notes and summations of lectures. I used to have a lot of pity for them and comply to those requests but not any more. I work and have a family too and decided they can earn the bags under their eyes the same way I do. It’s finals time for crying out loud. Too Late. Sucks to be you. (Rotten aren’t I? LOL)
61jerzgurl822
Yes, I’d love the message board address. Thanks!
Imi50
Lyrica did the same thing to me! The natural supplement Alpha Lipoic Acid (at least 600 mg per day) WORKED for me. I rarely have any neuropathy symptoms now.
Thanx Boomer Sooner!!! I’ll go to the health food store today and give it a try!
Linda, I will try to post it tomorrow. It is bookmarked on my other computer. Spent the day watching grandbaby with dad (and mom) recuperated from surgery.
#70jerzgurl822
How did your SIL’s surgery go? I hope it went well.
The surgery went well. He has to lay on his left side for 4 days and then wait for the bubble thing to disolve in 3-8 weeks. He is just very frustrated because he is a very hands on father and husband and is sort of out of commission. Hopefully his vision will be restored as he is very young at 29.
The website for the knee forum is http://www.hieran.com/knee. It is a delpi forum and you have to sign up to view and respond. The link will bring you to an on-line journal of one girls knee surgery (don’t look) Click on the left hand side to the message boards. There are some negative people on there but for the most part people are very helpful and encouraging. They got my thru my recovery, in fact I still have a couple of posts on my bulletin board at work to remind me of how far I have come. If you have any questions or need encouragement, let me know. If you can’t get the link to work, let me know to and I will try again.