Musings’ Friday Follies!
Dec 11th, 2009 by BohemianMoon
TGIF is here and so are Musings Friday Follies!
Ya gotta rant about your boss? Your spouse? Your family or friends? Or maybe you just want to bitch about the world at large? Vent here!
Ya gotta problem? A burden shared is half a burden!
Ya gotta a couple of giggles to share? Laughter is the best medicine!
Let it out on any subject and clean the slate for the wonderful weekend ahead!
(No subject is taboo if presented with decorum, except of course, the Gosselin kids and the “C” word. However, now that we have the word “Twaffle”, the “C” word doesn’t matter so much any longer now does it? 
)
O wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world! That has such people in’t!
My rant is a carryover from yesterday. I went into our lunchroom
yesterday to put my gifts into a collection box for an “adopted”
Holiday Family. NOTHING in the box. I was upset. The folks
I work with make a better than average living, and 3x as much as me and I just don’t get it. But you know I had read a most powerful post at Pat’s the day before that stuck with me and I WILL be a good Santa. I got busy gathering kid appropriate
items from our stash and will shop this weekend. My rant is the selfish, self serving co-workers I endure daily.
No rant…just an update for those of you following the slacker girl fiasco. I spoke to one of my groupmates before class about slacker girl and asked if she was frustrated by S.G.’s lack of effort, work, quality of work, etc. She said yes! We looked at the eval sheet we were going to fill out and discussed how to rate S.G. I asked her if she opposed me talking to the prof and she said to go for it. She had another class immediately following ours and wouldn’t be able to join me, but said I could tell the prof that she agreed with me. So…I talked to the prof. I started in saying that there was going to be a huge discrepancy between three members’ ratings and the fourth. Before I even continued, she said, “Who? -Slacker girl-?” So obviously she knew. I told her everything and she was astounded that I had to do as much editing as I did on her portion of the paper. She thanked me for coming to her and speaking up because this was info she needed to know. I feel tons better now. Now I gotta run go catch a plane to visit my college roommate in Florida! Getting out of this 30 degree weather and heading for some warmth! Rainy warmth, but warmth nonetheless!!
Have a great weekend, ladies!
No rant. The lowly 1-11 Cleveland Browns beat the ‘Super Bowl Champ’ Pittsburgh Steelers last night. Big Ben’s butt must be sore from those 8, count ‘em 8! sacks. Hey Pittsburgh! How’s that playoff picture working out for you?
Viki, may you be blessed this hoiday season for helping kids less fortunate. I can tell you first hand how much those donated gifts will mean to poor kids Santa might not get too. I remember getting a charity package one Christmas with Colorforms. Pieces were missing, but, it was still awesome and I think of it to this day. Shame on your coworkers who don’t understand that there are kids Santa forgets unless he has some helpers.
Vicki..I spelled your name wrong. Sorry. Santa should bring me a spelling book. Heh.
Just gonna piss and moan..Day 19..no smoking ! This really sucks…
This is a trivial problem but it disturbs me anyway. My husband was one of 8 kids and must have had crappy Christmases as a child. I am one of 4, then two (same mom/different dad) and then two (same dad/Different mom) Christmas was never a happy time in our home either, we lived with my grandparents and they had a son who was born on Christmas day and died in WWll so things were never right there. Anyway, since having my own family, I have tried to have a good holiday. Now that the kids are grown, they want to know what hubby wants for Christmas. The answer is NOTHING. He sulks from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve. He leaves all the decorating to me, the shopping and decision making to me and then on Christmas Eve he changes into this different person, F*(&king Father Christmas. I know I cannot change him but it is getting really tiresome. This has gone on for 32 years and I am over and done with it. We have been really blessed this year with a beautiful grandson, we raised good semi-well adjusted kids who do us proud, so what is his freaking problem?????????? Thanks for listening.
Lynnerk
Just gonna piss and moan..Day 19..no smoking ! This really sucks
I am on day 35 of not smoking, done with the Chantix, I feel pretty good. Not to say I haven’t reached for a smoke a few times, but I didn’t light it! After 35 yrs. of smoking I am quite proud of myself.
So, here’s my rant….the ex husband died about 3 weeks ago, heart attack in his sleep. We had been apart for 6 years. Anyway,
all of a sudden I get a notice from my bank that the IRS wants verification of my name and SSN, they sent me a form W-9. Now, i know he owed the IRS money, from when i don’t know. Now I am absolutely petrified they are going to come after me!
He is gonna haunt me until the day I die!
Lynnerk-
Meant to say. Hang in there, it really does get easier…
Prayers for Michelle Duggar and her new baby girl, Josie. Josie weighed only 1 lb. 6 ounces.
~calpernia19
Thx..
And I agree, and notification from the IRS would scare the hell out of me…Good Luck !
I am happy that Moon allows us this space on her blog to put in writing whatever we want to say. I really enjoy, or sympathize, (depending on the subject) with my fellow Musers.
We are such a diverse community, yet we share and respect all opinions on so many subjects.
One member of our group who always piques my interest is Pat (Dirty Disher) – she’s smart and funny and real in her comments. I knew (from some of Moon’s comments) that she had her own blog site.
For some weeks now, I’ve wanted to visit her site to see what was going on, but sometimes having the distractability of a dragonfly, something shiney would catch my attention and I’d flitter off to another site, always meaning to get back and look her up.
Well, today I went.
I read Pat’s blog entry about her Christmas as a 7 year old.
I was stunned.
I don’t say this lightly. I am and have always been a voracious reader of just about all genres. In all my years of reading I can recall just a few instances of being transported by an author into a place or situation, totally unaware of my surroundings, feeling the fabric of the writer’s intent and being immersed by it.
Pat’s ability to convey joy, anger, hope, fear – in such a few paragraphs – leaves me speechless.
Why this woman isn’t published is beyond me. I read through some of the comments left by visitors to her site – many have expressed the same opinion and with good reason.
One thing I know – that blog entry will stay with me for a long time.
To access her site, click on her highlighted name here on our site and hold on.
Tam ~ That was the Steelers Christmas present to the Browns and all those in the dog pound. Didn’t want them to only have a big old goose egg for Xmas.
I’m still trying to figure out last weekend with Pitt & the Steelers games. Watched the first half of the Pitt game, it was a blow out. Had to leave, didn’t see the second half. Caught the score on the evening news & it was a WTF???
Cynthia, thank you so much. My readers have helped me through some bad times, including the death of my son. I am going to put all my stories on a seperate website so that readers can find them all easily. I have found that writing helps me to cope and be a better person. Thank you for reading me. Hugs.
Lynerk: My mother in law died five years ago and had not paid taxes the last two years of her life (long-embarassing story) Anyway, the IRS hasn’t done anything to the estate as far as collecting – in fact they just had an accountant file those last two years and we are still waiting for a bill to settle up. I wouldn’t be too, too concerned.
This is not necessarily a rant, but rather a request for opinions and advice. My son’s family in the home consists of mom, dad, sister (9), brother (13) & mom’s aunt who has end stage lung cancer. Needless to say it’s a difficult situation at best. The aunt who is 82 never had children and married briefly a couple of times many years ago. It’s always been obvious that she favors the sister, our granddaughter and has always been outright verbally mean to our grandson. In the past, prior to diagnosis, DIL has had more than one conversation with her about this but it seems to fall on deaf ears. Now this anger has spilled over to the daughter as well and both children are called on the carpet daily by aunt’s abusive rants. It’s understandable to some degree since she is facing terminal cancer and not given much time, but on the other hand it’s totally not fair to these children to be subjected to such demeaning insults no matter what the situation. The aunt has reverted back to childish behavior more and more and son and DIL are beside themselves on what to do. I feel so bad for all of them but am also at a loss. Both kids have been told it’s okay to say nothing and just walk away from the aunt when she’s on a rampage and I have the kids over on the weekends as much as possible. Mainly because I just love having them here, but it also gets them out of the house for awhile. Otherwise, what to do, what to do. I guess this is a rant because I don’t see any good answers here.
Where do I start?
Monday my tire went flat.
Tuesday my computer died. I clicked on something I shouldn’t have. Shame on me. My friend, who built it in the first place, is working on it and should be up and running by Saturday night.
My mom is having her surgery Wed. (and her insurance is paying for the EXPERIENCED surgical team). Please send vibes, prayers, whatever.
Love is in my life again! Never expected it or even really thought I wanted it. It’s very easy this time. I’m completely unguarded with him and he STILL loves me. He’s willing to relocate here but I don’t want him leaving his good job. We will work it out. Legally, I can’t take Mini-Snark out of the state until I get court permission, right?
So, where is Mini’s sperm donor? Good question. The house was foreclosed upon and put up for Auction Nov. 2nd. He hasn’t rented an apartment under his name (old H.S. friend is a P.I.) and he hasn’t tried to contact us since late Sept. or payed child support since May of 2008. I might offer him one of those deals. Yeah, he’s low enough to sign off his parental rights to avoid having to pay me the thousands of dollars he owes me. This is fine with me and Mini. She’s developing a relationship with My Man that is making her laugh and feel (her words) “like a pretty little princess.”
Have a great Hanukkah for those who celebrate.
Pat, I too am in awe of your writing which I read daily since I found you. I don’t know the story of your son but I am so, so sorry for your loss. Losing a child has to be the most painful of all. Your writing certainly conveys the depth of your soul and your ability to put it into words.
Jerzgurl822:
Thanks for the info, hopefully I will not have to take on any unpaid tax bills he left…Not that I have anything they want, I don’t make much money, don’t own a house….
It sure is nice to have somewhere to come to bitch and moan and commiserate with others.
Thanks guys!
Cynthia~
I read Pat’s blog entry about her Christmas as a 7 year old.
I was stunned.
I don’t say this lightly. I am and have always been a voracious reader of just about all genres. In all my years of reading I can recall just a few instances of being transported by an author into a place or situation, totally unaware of my surroundings, feeling the fabric of the writer’s intent and being immersed by it.
Pat’s ability to convey joy, anger, hope, fear – in such a few paragraphs – leaves me speechless.
She is pretty amazing, isn’t she? I met Pat when she started posting on Musings, good lord maybe a year or so ago- she made me laugh on a daily basis, she usually shocked me on a daily basis as well – that woman knows her way around a curse word or two, lol. At that time she had her celebrity gossip blog. I would visit every now and again and enjoyed it, but I am not much of a celebrity watcher. In spring she wrote that she wasn’t going to continue the celebrity blog as it was no longer fun for her and opened a gardening blog – but it wasn’t just about gardening – it is pretty much the blog you see now. Pat is an amazing gardener and from the start of that blog, I was so hooked. I don’t always post due to time restraints, but I do read.
She is an amazing writer – raw and honest – and takes you right in to her world. Sometimes her world is better than mine at the time, sometimes it is a 1000% worse, but it is always emotionally moving. It is like seeing a good piece of art (which it is) that stays with you for weeks. I learn from her everyday.
It is interesting, the creeple sheeple people of the net – otherwise known as the trolls – think that Pat and I are close friends and talk back and forth all of the time. We don’t. I think that we have personally emailed each other all of 5 times in the last year. We are kindred spirits and communicate in other ways, methinks
Regardless, she does rock and I am happy to hear that you have gone and gotten a taste of her writing/memories/life. Like good art, her stories will stick with you.
Pat will be published within the next few years at the most. You hear that Pat?!? AND she is going to talk to me at her book signing
EDITED TO ADD: Here is her link for those that want to check her out – as TV snark said spend some time in her archives and read about Gun Town. Amazing.
http://thedirtydisher.blogspot.com/
Cynthia, most of Pat’s childhood stories stick with me. I highly recommend spending time reading through her archives about her childhood and Guntown. Amazing stuff.
Yes, she should and will be published.
Remember the old thread about who you would stand in line to meet? Well, I’d like to amend my answer to add Pat. When your books are published, I too will be a Patsheeple and stand for hours to meet you. Maybe I’ll even take my daughter out of school and fix my hair like yours! I love your blog.
Vicki~
I went into our lunchroom
yesterday to put my gifts into a collection box for an “adopted”
Holiday Family. NOTHING in the box. I was upset. The folks
I work with make a better than average living, and 3x as much as me and I just don’t get it. But you know I had read a most powerful post at Pat’s the day before that stuck with me and I WILL be a good Santa. I got busy gathering kid appropriate
items from our stash and will shop this weekend. My rant is the selfish, self serving co-workers I endure daily.
You know what is interesting to me? In my experience with everyday people (celebrities excluded and that is a whole other ball of wax) – the ones who have less oftentimes give the most. I love being Santa and have two little angels that we have bought for through a program in our little town here – a boy and a girl – both 4 years old – they will have a good Christmas. Our home can do without a few things so these two can receive – I gain more from that emotionally and spiritually then any material item or favorite food stuff.
#17 Itsaboutthekids
” guess this is a rant because I don’t see any good answers here.”
Does your DIL have visiting nurse services coming in? Sounds like the aunt could use a mood stablizer cocktail.
Having your grandchildren out of the house is needed for their own mental health. Constant beratement from a terminal patient is hard enough for an adult to process. Kids don’t stand a chance at not taking that personally.
If they have been told to leave the room the minute she starts, they need to do that. Of course, that will enrage her further but at least the kids will be out of the way.
Where’s your son in all this? Is there the possibility that the aunt can be placed in hospice?
Don’t get me wrong – I have mundo compassion for the dying, but when families are bearing the brunt of all that negative energy, it’s just not a healthy situation.
And while I’m thinking of it – some terminal people develop dementia towards the end – all their bad personality traits are magnified and fueled by rage and fear of dying, with the family ending up as the scapegoat.
Scott~
O wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world! That has such people in’t!
We are pretty cool, ain’t we?
Everyone say hi to Scott! He is one of my oldest friends. I think we met when I was 19 in DC. We were theatre buddies and shared a passion for Beckett, Sam Shepard and Shakespeare, among others. Scott and his wife have a theatre of their own out in California:)
#25Cynthia
#17 Itsaboutthekids
” guess this is a rant because I don’t see any good answers here.”
“Does your DIL have visiting nurse services coming in? Sounds like the aunt could use a mood stablizer cocktail.”
There isn’t a visiting nurse at this time but DIL has talked about hospice which I think is definitely needed. I’m going to discuss this with her. Son is the quiet, compassionate type who will do whatever is needed. He’s just a great guy and is trying to help his wife and shield the kids as best he can. They are certainly experienced with tragedy and difficult decisions as son and DIL suffered through the illnesses and loss of DIL’s 6 yr. old son from a previous marriage. This little guy was born with a chromosone 13 defect and was severely disabled with a life expectancy of 24 hours. Amazing what love can do. Anyway, it just hurts to see them have to deal with another crisis and I know what stress can do to your health. Thanks for the reply, Cynthia. It helped me think clearly. Good idea about the mood drugs as well.
Hi, Scott. It’s good to “meet” you. Moon’s place is definitely something to behold.
itsaboutthekids: Sorry to hear about that situation. Does the aunt’s doctor know about this mood stuff. The suggestion above regarding mood stablizers is a good one. It is nice that you take the kids as much as you can to shield them from this stuff. I know all about people playing “favorites” Just give your grandson alot of extra “grandmom” love and he will be fine. It’s nice that you raised your son to be a compassionate person!
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Scott!!!!!!!
#29 Jerzgurl822
She’ll be fine too. I just wish them peace within their family.
Not sure if the doctor knows about the moodiness but I’m going to find out. Grandson is old enough to understand but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. He was legally adopted by (step) mom at age 11 since bio-mom was an abusive drug-addicted waste of space who deserted him four years prior. But she did give us a grandson who is wise beyond his years and a constant joy. He is a survivor for sure. And granddaughter is one tough cookie who calls it like it is
18TVsnark
My mom is having her surgery Wed. (and her insurance is paying for the EXPERIENCED surgical team). Please send vibes, prayers, whatever.
Love is in my life again! Never expected it or even really thought I wanted it. It’s very easy this time. I’m completely unguarded with him and he STILL loves me. He’s willing to relocate here but I don’t want him leaving his good job. We will work it out. Legally, I can’t take Mini-Snark out of the state until I get court permission, right?
~~
Prayers for your mom, Snark. Please let us know how it goes. Since we hadn’t heard from you in awhile, I so wanted to ask if things were still going great w/your ‘man’, but felt it inappropriate. So glad you shared that, I’m really happy for you! Happy Hanukkah to you too!
Thanks Linda. Yeah, things are good. He’s a special guy and I’m very lucky (so is he!).
Good Evening Scott!!!!
It has been 24 days since I had a smoke. I am still on the patch. I think that is the main reason I have lasted so long. Next week I titrate down to a lower dose.
My gums are bleeding and I hate it. This happened the last time I quit smoking. It is like the toxins are leeching out of them. I remember exactly that the last time it happened..i freaked out because of the amount of blood. Same thing is happening now when I brush my teeth. It can last a week or more. My dentist told me not to worry.
There are still times when I want one really really badly! LOL
Eyes on the prize..the money.
Oh, I knew that Snark!
I love Pat also. I may not post a reply there much but I read there every single day. Even the day I came back from the hospital..I had to read there.
Lots of positive thoughts going your Mom`s way Snark.
All of you that have quit smoking recently..me included… Yay!! WooHoo!
WTG girl!
Pat yourself on the back!
Yippee!
We can dooooo it!
Well, the other day as I was leaving work I heard a freight train. Odd, since we are up on a hill and the nearest rail line is, oh, 10 miles away. I turned to my coworker and yelled (cause it was windy) “isn’t that what you hear before the tornado hits?” She looked startled but the maintenance guy who was trying to get the gym door open nodded his head in agreement. We scurried to our cars like two mimes on crack. I heeded her warning about being careful as I open the car door (don’t want to ding anyone’s car, don’t want to lose a door either) slid in, took a deep breath and took off.
My coworker lives close by, but we go home different routes. I prefer roads with lines on them, she zips through the holler and is unfazed by narrow unmarked goat paths, er, roads. The sky is alternately dark and sun shiney. It begins to rain. The rain is going UP my windshield and I think there was hail. I was just congratulating myself on my choice of routes home (few trees, lines on the road, wide lanes) and cresting a hill (well, in PA we are always cresting a hill or two) when suddenly I realized there was a pine tree in the road. In my lane in the road! Yikes! Can’t swerve out of line on a curve! Can’t stop in time! Thump, scrape, screech! Dang, at least pine trees aren’t that dense, and well, springy. hmmm, wheels still turning. Car running okay. No noises. A quick glance in the rear view mirror reveals the pine tree, still poofy, in the road. Dang. Where in blue blazes did that come from? The defunct tree farm? Oh, no! Did I just kill someone’s christmas tree? I think I did! Oh man.
I’ve passed the spot twice now, tree is off to the side and I discerned no root ball. Seemed like a clean cut on the end of the stump. Dang, did they get all the way home before they realized the tree was gone with the wind?
My garage is now pine scented.
its about the kids: I get the favoritism thing. We were raised by my grandparents and my aunt. I was five and my youngest brother came home from the hospital to their house. Later on my mother took some of us to live with her and left my brother. The aunt is 86, I am 51 and my brother is 44. He is STILL the favorite and I still get my feelings hurt. I feel for your little guy. My mil had favorites (2 of them out of 23 grandchildren) and the kids knew it and are still okay. How neat that his step-mother adopted him!
#27 Itsaboutthekids
” Thanks for the reply, Cynthia. It helped me think clearly. Good idea about the mood drugs as well.”
Glad to hear that my comment helped a little.
The family doctor is usually really important in these kinds of cases, (if the aunt has one). Some terminal elderly with her type of aggression can escalate into physical violence – slapping, spitting, wild swings, etc., if their raging isn’t addressed by professionals.
Thus, chemical aperitifs.
(((Hugs to you))))
Heidi~
The bigger prize is your health. I smoked for 40 years…until the dr. found cancerous tumors in both of my kidneys and a very large questionable (turned out benign) cyst on one ovary. Last year I had three surgeries within 60 days and now I’m scanned every 6 months for the rest of my life. So far so good, so I’m thankful for that…. I wish you every success. You CAN do it!
Four~
Great story this week:) I love it, thanks!
#26 Moon
“Scott and his wife have a theatre of their own out in California:)”
How cool is that?!!
Hello, Scott – welcome to this best of web sites!
Care to share any theatre stories?
#8Jerzgurl822
Your hubby sounds like mine, re: bah, humbug up until Christmas Eve and the family arrives. Then he’s good ‘ole St. Nick. heh, heh. He’s from a family of 9 kids. Maybe that’s just way too many. Me…I LOVE Christmas and decorate to the hilt!
Moon, Cynthia and TVSnark,
I totally agree about Pat. I’ve been visiting her blog now, daily, for – oh about two weeks. Her story about the Christmas oranges was so amazing. Her writing is so raw and clear. I love the honesty.
Yeah…I love Pat’s blog too. I started reading it about a year and a half ago when it was exclusively a celeb gossip site. I was always in awe at the juicy gossip stories that she posted.
Pat definitely has a gift for making the mundane seem fascinating. My favorite are her Kate Gosselin posts and her photoshop magic she does with Kate’s face. Bruwaawwwaaaawwaaaaaa!!!!
Heidi
My gums are bleeding and I hate it. This happened the last time I quit smoking. It is like the toxins are leeching out of them.
OMG, I know what you mean! I thought I was having some sort of
gum trouble until I read your post…Phew, thats a relief!
I got drawn into being a regular reader Pat’s blog about 18 months ago. I never miss a day, no matter what. Pat is such a gifted writer that I just about hang on every word. When she writes about her personal life, Gun Town, her childhood, I am transfixed by the power and magic of her prose.
I’m going to be at that book signing, and I’m buying multiple copies!!
Let me just add to loving Pat’s blog. We actually have some not so cool things in common and as many times as I have tried to write about my childhood on my dead ass blog I find comfort in reading her story. The perfect combination of humor and candor. I will be in front of the line for that book.
I am also so grateful for Moon and all the Moonies for sharing their thoughts and lives. I am blessed to have have found you all.
Extra fairydust for all the Musers! Thank you for letting me be ME.
Pat, thank you so much for your kind thoughts.
Moon, I see what you are saying and agree that many
of us will not really miss a thing if we can do a little for
someone else.
My rant is over now. I just decided I would do what I could to
make it just a bit brighter for this single dad and little ones.
(Makes me sad though thinking of the little girl without a Mom
in her young life– My Mom was wonderful to me and my Sisters)
Yeah,
Calpernia..I had quit smoking about 15 years ago (it lasted 4 years) and I had quit because my dentist had seen something funky in my gums. He thought it could be the beginnings of cancer. He was never an alarmist so when he said something like that..you listened. I quit smoking that very day.
It was not cancer (TG) but he did let me know that the bleeding will go away. It is just part of the quitting process for some people. Just like the hacking cough you get with quitting.
After the bleeding and soreness of the gums have stopped..I am going to make a appointment for a teeth cleaning AND see what the prices are on teeth whitening.
That will be a gift to myself for quitting.
I have to agree about Pat although when I first started reading her blog, having seen references to it here, I confess I was put off by the profanity. I am one who considers cursing as verbal violence , but at the same time a well-placed curse for emphasis or impact does not offend me. The frequency of use and curse words that debase women I find hard to take. HOWEVER, after reading Pat’s Christmas story I was blown away. I began to read other entries and I believe I am a Pat convert, and I too will stand in line for her to sign her book for me.
My husband bah humbugs Christmas too. It must be a guy thing. He buys crap gifts, leaves them in the shop bag, duct tapes them shut and then sits eagerly on Christmas morning like a kid wanting all his gifts to be neatly wrapped and kept secret so he gets the thrill of opening them. I love him though because he does great things throughout the year. Our best Christmas was 2004 when we suspected we were pregnant, got the results on New Year’s Eve. We were both 42, never thought it would happen, I still cry thinking about us bawling our eyes out over that positive home pregnancy test and then taking a walk along the shore later dreaming up names…
Fairy~
We actually have some not so cool things in common and as many times as I have tried to write about my childhood on my dead ass blog I find comfort in reading her story.
I never knew that you had a blog, Fairy, may I have the link? If you don’t feel comfy placing it here, could you email me with it?
Art heals – I am a strong believer in this. I have worked on a lot of my childhood and my personal experiences with severe domestic violence issues – both as a child and an adult – via my art. That is why, in my conceptual work, one sees a great deal of references of child to adult, or just a child and how that child perseveres when they are so young, whether that is protecting themselves in their imagination or in their reality. It is the dialogue I have been working with for about 6 years now. It has helped me a great deal making it and helped numerous others by communicating to them that they are not alone, nor should they be ashamed.
I don’t know if you have seen this piece, and again the picture isn’t that great, but it is called “Learning Preservation” http://croneonthehill.com/?p=73. Three sizes of toddler/preschool Mary Jane shoes. The shoes start out clean and with fresh planting material (representing her innocent soul and psyche) – as the child grows the shoes become soiled and dirty (representing abuse) but as the abuse grows greater and the shoes more beat up, they also grow more and more protection which is represented by Venus Fly traps – carnivorous plants that also look a bit like women’s genitalia (hence the word “Venus”). So really it is a communication from an adult thinking what she would have done (in abstract terms) if she had any power over her world when 2, 4 or 6 years of age. It is a universal problem, and many can relate.
I hope to get my Masters in art therapy and help others work through their childhood/life issues, but that has to wait until Web Boy is out of school. I would like to work with the women and children populations.
Pat works through a great deal of her stuff through her stories and the written word – so captivating to us – not only through her amazing use of words and honesty, but because so many of us can relate personally. If not personally then we certainly know someone that has been through some of the same things and can relate in that way.
Don’t stop writing, or dialoguing through whatever medium you choose. It will, IMO, help you greatly.
Peace and good~
Moon
I can B…..
Welcome to Musings!
I’m going to be at that book signing, and I’m buying multiple copies!!
Pat’s first book signing is going to be on HELL of a great PARTAY! We are going to ROCK it out!
Moon,
Ah yes, the shoes. I’m such a dork I burst into tears just looking at the picture. Your art is great. I can’t draw a stick person. LOL. AT ALL. My New years resolution is to actually use my blog. I don’t know how to link but I will fling ya an e mail tomorrow when I get back from the Hubby’s company party. Gotta warn ya though….it’s the blog o death. I started it when a friend died. If you want a peek you can click on my name in the comment section at DD’s.
Have a great weekend Musers. I’ll be at Caesars Palace in a dumb dress.
Fairy, I took a peek at your profile. I got married where you live.
It was wonderful. Enjoy the Party!!! Wish I was in Vegas!!!!!!!!
itsaboutthekids,
About the mood/raging problem…
My mother, who finally died this past June at the age of 93, single handedly destroyed the lives of her nine children. However, a few of us were able to survive and thrive, thanks to decades of good counselors, therapists, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, and one or two excellent mentors and teachers. She was diagnosed (but refused treatment) as a certified card-carrying basket/mental case, “suffering with” Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcisstic Personality Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, et.al. plus twice yearly Alcoholism that didn’t stop until my father committed her to one of an assortment of private nuthouses. Having finally learned that any contact with her, or sadly, my brothers and sisters, always resulted in me “going crazy,” I had not seen or spoken to anyone in my family since 1987. It wasn’t easy, but really necessary as I was still trying to fix myself in the hope that my kids’ lives wouldn’t be a repeat performance of such toxic ugliness and despair.
My mother spent her last years in a graduated-care condominium complex in Arizona, with my youngest sister looking after her. My mother’s physical health eventually necessitated a higher level of care, but her mental illnesses in addition to severe dementia made her acceptance into a number of hospices impossible. Upon interviewing her, they all said the same thing: “Come back when you’ve received some psychiatric help.” In other words, it was obvious she’d be a tough nut to crack and wouldn’t fit in where sweet and managable elderly people were living out their last days. Somehow, my sister was successful where my father had not been; my mother agreed to be tested and, furthermore, conceded to follow whatever regime her diagnosis necessitated.
Within a week she was taking a medication prescribed for schizophrenia, paranoid type. According to two of my sisters, she was a completely new woman; she was loving and patient and kind. She had a sense of humor again, one that carried the three of them through the almost four years until she finally died.
And so, itsaboutthekids, modern medicine is full of miracles! Believe me, from what my sisters have told me, the transformation was remarkable. My mother went from a person no one dared have in their care facility, to a treasured gem they devoted an entire newsletter to when she died! Pictures of her dressed as a bride on Halloween, pictures of my siblings with her on visiting days, pictures of my mother with the little rabbit my sister gave her to keep her company; she named him J.D. for juvenile delinquent. (My mother had taught high school in the ’70s and the kids were rough.) Anyway, she’s the last person on earth, really, that I ever thought could be “fixed” but I believe she finally was. (Too bad she didn’t do it 70 years and a lot of damage sooner. ) And if that woman could be fixed, anyone can – there’s hope!
Fairy~
I will fling ya an e mail tomorrow when I get back from the Hubby’s company party. Gotta warn ya though….it’s the blog o death. I started it when a friend died.
As I said one of the best ways that I have found to work through something is via journaling or art making. Others run or work out etc.
I look forward to your email and have a great time at the party – why is the dress dumb? I gotta know, lol
Alana~
Thank you for sharing that. I would venture a guess that your disclosure has helped a lot of people today. You, as always, rock!
Wow, Alana, just wow. I would LOVE to hear some stories from your childhood. Man.
Moon, that picture is so funny.
Pat, LOL….not til you commented to Moon that the pic was funny, did I look at it that close….LOL, Ditto!
Alana, I can’t even imagine. Thank you for your story and the encouragement. Your thoughts are much appreciated. Hopefully the aunt can find some peace in these final weeks.
itsabouthekids~
Aunt is in my thoughts! Please keep us updated!
Thanks, Moon. Will do.
Lynnerk- Good job! Keep at it!
I love DD & I think she’s awesome. I like her blog because she tells it like it is. She doesn’t sugar coat stuff & if you ask her opinion,you better believe that’s exactly what you’re gonna get. I’m a big fan of DD’s.
Pat will be published within the next few years at the most. You hear that Pat?!? AND she is going to talk to me at her book signing +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I’m not so sure. If she’s not published,it sure as heck isn’t from lack of talent. She comes up with stuff,that would never dawn on me to write or even think of in the first place. I think her mom’s beat her down so much,she doesn’t see in herself,what the rest of us see in her. I wish for 5 minutes,she could see what her friends see in her & realize how talented she is. It’s absolutely effortless on her part. She doesn’t have to work to tell these stories that we love,it just comes out. Not many writers can say that.
Totally OT from anything relevant here, but was watching GMA this morning and they interviewed the “Dancing Granny” (recall the video Moon posted a little while ago?)
I’m still in awe of her flexibility at her age (heck – flexibility at ANY age is a good thing!) – but, rather than being 92, she’s really 75.
I feel better now………
OK Musers, help me out here.
Back in the mid 50’s when I was 6-7, big
poofy dresses were in.
At WT Grants Mom bought me a half-slip with
an inner-tube built in. You would blow in the nozzle.
inflate the tube and have a nice poofy dress.
If you sat down, ooops!
None of my co-workers believe me.
No I am losing it. Nothing was in google.
Does anyone remember this?
S/B No I am NOT losing it….
Syl, where the heck do you live???? I have never heard of such! LOL…I too was a child of the 50’s and 60’s and we just used “crinolins” to pouf our dress out. Never anything that you ‘blew up’. Those crinolins though were made out of net and they itched like crazy when you sat down!
Syl ~
I don’t remember the ‘inner tube’ either. Do remember crinolins, tho. My mother never would have gotten my sister & I the blow up slip because it would have cost her some precious money. The crinolins she was able to make at home. We had very few store bought clothes.
cj – Same here. But, my nana sewed like a tailor. She made me some of the most gorgeous suits, skirts, dresses, etc. as a teen. I will never forget the suit she made as my going-away suit for after my wedding. (BTW, that trip was the first time I went on an airplane, how did I live?) When I was small, she made me hand smocked dresses and was able to make some also for 2 of my 3 dtrs. She was unable to do it by the time the 3rd dtr. came, due to her weakened eyes and hands being too shaky.
Has anyone heard/seen Gram 123???????? Hope she’s ok!
Linda~
I am always envious of those that have sewing/tailoring skills. I am crap at it and always have been.
Has anyone heard/seen Gram 123???????? Hope she’s ok!
I just emailed her. I will let you know if I hear back.
Also a child of the 50’s – don’t remember any “blow-up” underwear,
but it sounds like something that could have been tried for flower girl dresses, etc. I mean, if they could attach huge tail fins on Plymouths, why not inner-tube slips?!
Linda – I seem to recall Gram123 as being burned out with all the J&K stuff. I think she said she was taking a break. Hope that’s all it is, tho.
Linda ~ My mother sewed everything (except underwear) my sister & I wore until we were old enough to get a job and buy our own ’store bought’. The first real job I had, there was a Villager store nextdoor. Everyother Friday (payday) I was in there checking out the sales racks. Imagine a kid in a candy store. Nothing wrong with the clothes she made, she was good & I had lots of new outfits during high school and college, but I wanted some of the brand names. My sister and I can both do a decent job at sewing, but alas, the sewing gene wasn’t passed on to our daughters. Both in their 30s and still bring home new pants to be hemmed. (and both only come home several times a year. they save up for Mom). Kid had two pairs of pants to be hemmed over Thanksgiving. I swear, the eye on the needle has gotten smaller over the years.
LOL Thanks all for responding. Really, truly, I’m NOT nuts.
Grew up and still live on Long Island, NY.
The Grants store was in Bay Shore.
One of the downsides of the inflatable slip was if there was a crimp
instead of being round it was triangle-ish.
My mom (87) remembers it so it must have happened.
I’ll have to do some intensive digging on the internet.
Giggles out loud. I will find it somehow!!