Musings’ Friday Follies
Dec 18th, 2009 by BohemianMoon
TGIF is here and so are Musings Friday Follies!
Ya gotta rant about your boss? Your spouse? Your family or friends? Or maybe you just want to bitch about the world at large? Vent here!
Ya gotta problem? A burden shared is half a burden!
Ya gotta a couple of giggles to share? Laughter is the best medicine!
Let it out on any subject and clean the slate for the wonderful weekend ahead!
(No subject is taboo if presented with decorum, except of course, the Gosselin kids and the “C” word. However, now that we have the word “Twaffle”, the “C” word doesn’t matter so much any longer now does it? 
)
It’s the last day of school before Winter Break. I have a 2 week vacation from making lunches made, kids up, kids to school, fighting with kids to do their homework and on and on. I am in such a good mood!!! I hope they do well on their exams today.
I have had possibly the worst week ever.
Went to work with a private client last Saturday, and found her dead on the kitchen floor. Had to call the family and tell them. Police, EMT’s, etc.
She was 87, ADORABLE and I miss her.
OMG Freddy, that is awful. That poor woman.
My mom just turned 89 and we recently had to put her in a nursing home because she fell and broke a whole bunch of bones. We kids are all gathering after Christmas to tell her she won’t be going back home – this is the third time in a year she’s broken bones from a fall and with dementia starting to set in, she just can’t be left alone anymore. So the day after Christmas I get to fly home , clean out my childhood home to get it ready to sell and break the bad news to Mom. It’s certainly put a damper on the holiday spirit but I’m trying to stay cheery for my daughter’s sake.
My friend’s daughter is dressing like a slut and dating a guy who is in jail and when she comes home, her mother lets her smoke and drink and party in the house with her friends, who also dress like sluts and play shitty rap songs that disrepect all women. Am I wrong for telling my friend she needs to raise an objection and demand some respect in her home and for her daughter.
rural mom, how old is her kid?? Geesh, it sounds awful, but, I remember wearing hot pants and playing “I am the God of Hell Fire!!! all day long when I was little. Everyone thought I was a bad seed, but, I was really a good girl. Never smoked, never drank, never let a boy french kiss me..lol. Gawd, I do hate that rap music that disrescpects women tough. It makes me sad. I think that mom probably needs to find out where her daughter’s head is at. Just in case.
Chrissy, I am sorry, it’s rough, but, you know your mom will be safe now and you know what? She could actually like it there. She can make friends, have activities and classes, even internet access and pets in some nursing homes now. I hope she adjusts it will ease your mind.
#4rural mom
“My friend’s daughter is dressing like a slut and dating a guy who is in jail and when she comes home, her mother lets her smoke and drink and party in the house with her friends, who also dress like sluts and play shitty rap songs that disrepect all women. Am I wrong for telling my friend she needs to raise an objection and demand some respect in her home and for her daughter.”
Rural Mom – unless your friend is complaining about these things you’re describing and asking you for advice, I’d think twice about offering up any opinions.
Her daughter apparently lives on her own – you said that her mom “lets” her pretty much do what she wants, with whom she wants.
It could be that your friend wants her daughter to visit and puts up with the behavior just to have her there – to see her.
Or, your friend could just be a doormat.
But sometimes, that’s just the way some relationships “roll” with parents and kids. I know that I, personally, would never put up with that kind of trashy behavior. But, that’s me.
rural mom – I think you would most likely be risking your friendship by providing your friend unsolicited advice. If she were to ask, then you could “let loose” your feelings, but for now, I would not say anything, unless the behavior becomes a danger to your friend.
Freddy~
I am so sorry! Massive hugs to you!
Chrissy~
That is super tough. Hugs and please keep us updated!
rural mom–holy crap!!! I made my teenager change her clothes last week before going to school and she got over it. I can’t get over how kids are allowed to dress and act.
I have been begging my dh to color my hair–the gray roots are just so sexy. Promised me for 2 weeks he’d do it last night before my work holiday party tonight and the dork ended up doing something he could have done over the weekend. He was so UN sincere at 9pm saying “I’ll do it now” as he’s getting into bed. I know it’s doesn’t sound like a big deal but he does stuff like that to me after I write a list out of stuff needed to be done around the house and he blows it off all the time.
I think Santa needs to shove some coal up his bum!!! Oh and he ate ALL the cookies I baked this week and wants me to make more for his work party tomorrow. Whoops I might forgot!
Good Friday for me!
My mom might go home from the hospital tomorrow! This was the scariest and most delicate surgery and I was petrified. Not being there doesn’t help either and my control freak sister made phone calls difficult.
My boyfriend is flying out again in February and I think we will drive down the coast (doesn’t everybody need to do that at one time? I’ve done it tons but he hasn’t) and he can meet the family! Yep . . . we are there.
It’s amazing how when the people you love are heathy, all is really right with the world. I need to remember that more.
On another note, ex husband is “missing” and I don’t care.
freddy — {{{{ hugs }}}}
That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.
Speaking of ‘unsolicited advice’ – - during a very long conversation with my sister I was trying to explain to her a conversation I had with Mini-snark.
Mini sometimes >/i> doesn’t like when I call her “my baby.” My mom has ALWAYS called me her baby and I’ve never had a problem with it. I was explaining to Mini that now, as I’m waiting to talk to Nana after surgery, I feel like her baby again. I NEED to talk to my mommy.
What does my sister say to this story? “Stop calling her your baby. If she doesn’t like it you shouldn’t do it.”
Yeah, she was really paying attention.
Just rec’d a gigantic family photo Christmas card from a woman I knew well years ago, but have not seen for the past 25 years as I live in the east and she lives near Seattle.
We were the wives of best friends. Both of us eventually were divorced from those guys. She married immediately another of their best friends and moved out west with her 2 small daughters and this guy. They became hyper-hyper-hyper religious to the point that through e-mail and other mail she informed me that they listened to nothing but religious music, read nothing but books approved by their pastor who said “blah-blah-blah”, this and that. The letters had such an arrogant superiority about them that I was shocked as these two had been some big-time boozers back in school and he, the new husband, had been a big-time druggie, too.
Over the years we kept in touch until she told me that she wasn’t going to communicate with me anymore because I questioned (in a nice way) some of the religious doctrines she and her pastor thought were written in stone. It was said with such a finality and “poor you going to hell” flavor that it totally pissed me off and I wrote her that it was just fine with me, but that I had my doubts whether her pastor out in podunk Washington state was the be-all and end-all of religious discussion and that people all over the world were probably as educated if not more educated and pious about their beliefs than she, her indoctrinated daughters and her pastor.
That was it. Now she feels the need not to speak to me even in letters but to send me these long Christmas letters about how fabulously on the ladder to heaven they are and always a big photo of her ever-expanding family (as they believe and have taught the kids that producing as many children as possible no matter what your financial status is, is what God wants) with no inquiries about my son (her Godchild from way back when) or me or my husband, anything else.
My question is why does she bother? Why does it irk me so much that this woman has such a closed off mind. Everything I like she hates, everything she loves I wonder about. In her particular religion apparently you are not allowed to wonder or question. How did she get from the person I knew to that? For some reason every single year I am more pissed off than the last. This was a good friend.
My dad died just before Christmas in 2001. We were all still shaking from the Pentagon being hit (near our house) on 9/11, as well as all the other attacks, of course, and then in Dec. he passed away. He loved Christmas. I didn’t want to celebrate that year, but was badgered and forced to by my older and super-controlling sister. It was a nightmare. He was 80. Cigarettes killed him and my father-in-law years before.
Guess we’ll always relate that loss to Christmas or maybe as time passes and little ones are born into our family (lucky you in posting above), we will be able to just think of him as he was at Christmases past, funny and loving every minute of it.
Hubs and I got grocery shopping and the last of the Christmas shopping done.
I bought a ham! ROFL I said I would not buy one but the price was right. I just HAD to. $1.19 lb.
I was a strong assed bitch yesterday. I went to my best buds house to hang out in the morning for coffee. She is still a smoker (she is quitting Christmas Eve)..She wanted to smoke outside in the freezing cold but I told her NO..I have to do this. I have to be able to be around people that smoke and not let it effect me.
I did it. I was there for 2 hours, she smoked around 4 cigs (i think), and it did not bother me..that way.
When I got home..I had to take a shower. And wash my coat.
Back is still healing. I still cannot drive the Jeep GC yet. Hurts to climb in. I am getting better with the stairs though.
Hopefully I will be going to the gym after my next appt with surgeon on Jan. 4th.
Save the Kids~
Guess we’ll always relate that loss to Christmas or maybe as time passes and little ones are born into our family (lucky you in posting above), we will be able to just think of him as he was at Christmases past, funny and loving every minute of it.
I suspect at one time you will be able to
My Dad died right before Thanksgiving when I was 23 – it was a rough time. We also shared a birthday. I was the last of 6 kids – one of two girls – and I was born on his birthday. I look a lot him and I am also left handed like him, and creative like him. Anyway, it was super hard for me to celebrate my birthday and I still really don’t. As for Thanksgiving – it got easier. It took me years, but it got easier. Having my son certainly helped. It was then not about me and my loss, but about creating traditions for my son so he too would carry traditions to and with his family when he grew up.
Loss of a dear loved one is hard around the holidays, in fact it sucks, but at one point the sadness shifts into happy remembrances instead of the sadness of loss.
Keep the faith and hugs to you!
Heidi~
So happy to hear that you are doing better!
Well, Kate wins big again and Jon loses huge again. Anyone surprised? That evil giant TLC has destroyed Jon (along with help from Jon himself). The divorce is final, Kate gets primary custody, gets the house and gets child support reported to be in the 5 figure category. There was also an agreement in the settlement that neither of them could claim spousal support, so no alimony for Jon. He is screwed. From his portion of the settlement, they deducted the balance of the $230,000 that had not been paid back and claimed Kate owed nothing because all the money she took was spent ‘on the kids’. Is anyone else here wondering how much TLC paid this judge to give everything to Kate and screw Jon? For all of us who have been waiting on karma to pay Kate a visit, looks like we lose again, just like Jon. I truly feel like this woman has Satanic intervention on her side rather than divine intervention. She just can do no wrong and nothing ever touches her. What the hell is that all about? And does anyone think she will ever pay for the sins she has committed against those innocent children and all the lies she has told?
Satanic intervention for the hateful and hated Kate. Yep, I think that’s just what happened.
#20KristyLyn – I was quite surprised as well considering the amount of time Jon acted as primary caregiver while Kate was “working”. My guess is Jon didn’t want to argue for primary custody or for the Pennsylvania house. I especially didn’t like her lawyers comments about it being “her house now”…what happened to it being the kids house?
It amused me to see reports that Jon is supposed to pay five figures a month. Figuring its 10k (120k a year) Jon would have to earn 250 k a year just to pay the child support. Not gonna happen…no getting blood from a stone. These people will be back in court again
Kate being thrilled about her settlement is just tabloid fodder put out there by TLC. In reality, she likely got to take over the mortgage payments on that house and Jon will still be visiting, requiring her to move out. I don’t think she won anything at all.
Chrissy, once your mother is more mobile, she might actually enjoy the nursing home. My parents went into one last year ( m/87, d/88). Sadly, my mother passed last June but my dad absolutely loves it there. I don’t think that it’s healthy for anyone in their mid-late 80’s to live alone. I think the biggest benefit of the nh is the companionship. I don’t want to stay home all by myself when I get that old. I am not looking forward to the time when I will not be able to jump into my car and go off as I please.
My dad is in a very nice home. They feed him three great meals a day with choices in a nice dining room and there is an activity room where there are always snacks and assorted beverages available. Apparently, they all like to reminisce and they get together and watch a lot of videos of old sitcoms and they have movie nights. At 89 the ladies are all hitting on him as there are more women than men in the homes or so it seems. They take very good care of him. Whenever anyone visits, they always find him dressed in a nice coordinating outfit — something that someone puts together for him because he has mild Alzheimer’s and my mother laid out his clothes for years.
Give your mom some time. She may actually like not having to worry about eating and even minimal tasks. I can’t wait for someone to make me three squares a day and then clean up afterwards!
Christi-Lyn, I agree with Toni. I don’t think Kate won anything. I am curious if her getting primary custody of the kids means that she can continue to rent them out for her benefit.
I expect that K will warm up to J when she starts working more and she will attempt to use him as her full-time caretaker for the kids. He might cave in just because he needs a place to live. Personally, I think he should move back with his mother in that case. I think J will have a really hard time getting a job — any job. He has no skills or personality for tv. He has a rather spotty work background in IT and the most he can make if he is extremely lucky would be $50,000 – $60,000 a year. No judge is going to make him turn over $10,000 a month to K. He will surely go back to court for modification taking into account that K has a job and he doesn’t.
I think the responsibility of taking care of eight kids is going to make K even more short-tempered and mean to the kids than she already is. I really wouldn’t want to be in any of their shoes particularly the little kids.
#15 Save The Kids
“Now she feels the need not to speak to me even in letters but to send me these long Christmas letters about how fabulously on the ladder to heaven they are. For some reason every single year I am more pissed off than the last.”
I hear you! I receive one or two of these obnoxious “holier-than-thou” missives around the holidays, too. Nothing worse than a Born-again ex-stoner. It’s just another addiction for them – the difference being that they expect us to jump on the boat and take the cruise with them. Idiots.
May I suggest that next year when that special letter arrives in your mailbox, don’t open it.
Just write “Return to Sender – Addressee now resides happily in Hades”
and pop it back in the mail.
Don’t think you’ll be on her mailing list after that….
Cynthia~
I hear you! I receive one or two of these obnoxious “holier-than-thou” missives around the holidays, too. Nothing worse than a Born-again ex-stoner.
Quote. Of. The. Week.
Why, thank you, Moon!
<<<>>>
#16Save The Kids
Christmas of 1956 I was 12 y/o and wanted a ‘record player’ so bad I could taste it. Christmas morning my dad awoke me blaring Love is a Many Splendored Thing on the player. I was so happy and played those 3 “45’s” (records) I got along w/the player, over and over and over….a couple of days before I had spent taking goodies to my g/f w/our homeroom teacher, as her dad had died. I could not imagine being 12 and your dad dying. Fast forward 4 mos. and Easter of ‘57, my dad, 32 y/o, died. He was only sick for a couple of mos., and until the last 2 wks. of his life, it was nothing that we could have anticipated would be fatal. My mom was 6 wks. preg. w/my little brother and I had a sister 4 y/o. I always remember both the special, wonderful Xmas before he died, and then I always remember Easter. Forever, those memories are with us. That’s a good thing. I smile when I remember him. He was the best dad!!
Chrissy,
We put my dad in a nursing home this summer. I also happen to work there, in the therapy department. Seeing him every day has its pros and cons. Crying at work is one of them. Also, trying to be ‘employee vs. family’ is another. We asked the doctor to tell him he was staying, and with his dementia, he never remembers anyway. So every day he used to ask when he was going home, now, not so much. The biggest factor was that having my mother take care of him 24/7 was killing HER.
Save The Kids, mail her a joint and a pint of Jack.
As I was surfing I found this site. It is truly one of the great time wasters, and mildly terrifying.
http://www.sketchysantas.com/
Blizzard warnings for my area today. No snow yet but it is a-coming. Maybe a foot of snow when it is all said and done.
My hubs has to work today and tonite. He got called in early. I will be up until the wee hours of tonite waiting for him to come home safe and sound.
Heidi~
My hubs has to work today and tonite. He got called in early. I will be up until the wee hours of tonite waiting for him to come home safe and sound.
Waiting for a loved one to return in horrid weather is the worst
We are here for you!
Heidi, I’ll be praying for his safe return. I hate when my dh is out in bad weather. Keep us posted and lots of positive peace vibes to you
Heidi: I hear you. We are having a horrible storm in NJ and the worst is yet to come. My daughter goes to a church where she is on the praise team. She just left to drive in this crap becuase they are still having a Saturday night service. 20 miles one way. Sorry but if the pastor wants to keep his record of never cancelling a service, he should just have the piano player play a few carols and call it a night. I begged her not to drive – but she has this sense of obligation (which is normally a good thing) and is afraid she will be kicked out the praise team. This kind of thing is exactly why I am disenchanted with church. (it’s one of those mega churches that put on quite a show) Thanks for listening, please say a little prayer for her safety on the roads. Thanks
Jerzgurl~
I am so sorry your daughter elected to drive in this crap. Just spent 2 hours shoveling up around the NJ side of the Delaware river, close to Philly, and it is awful, awful, awful out there. A pox on that pastor for gathering his “flock” when this snow has not peaked yet. How arrogant of him!!!
Normally my part of PA (NW) gets socked by mega snowstorms. Today it’s my kid in Philly that’s getting blasted. Trying to get in touch with her and she’s not answering the phone. Today of all days she was going to her brother’s house in the Newark NJ area. Really hope she didn’t go … or is not stuck on the road somewhere. Maybe she’s out walking the dog. How old do they have to be before you quit worrying about them?
And since this is Friday’s Follies, my small rant is;
“Family, I have to study for this exam. I have shoveled your sidewalk, and driveway. I will go to the store if the neighbor’s son gets his 4 wheeler on the road, even though I told you to buy cigars last night, yes, I will get the Christmas baking don but I absolutely can NOT come over and figure out how to marry the controllers between your brand new HD TV and Co cast. I CAN NOT order a new set top box, or re-cable anything at the moment.”
Nor will I transcribe my notes and deliver them on line to all the people in my bio chat room who didn’t go to the last 3 classes. Sucks to be you. (that was rotten, I know)
Gheesh……..OK, feel better. Thanks guys.
NTS-
That wasn’t rotten at all! LOL
# 38 cj
Til you’re dead or they turn 85, whichever comes first!
#39NonTraditional Student
I thought it was a hoot!! You go girl!
Hubs says he is staying over night. Many of the workers (nurses, techs, etc) are staying to be safe and plus you get paid mega overtime when you start your shift early the next day.
So I probably wont see him until Monday morning.
Daughter drove all the way to church, pulled into parking lot and got a call on her cell phone that she was not needed. She is staying with a friend who lives close to the church. The pastor IS ARROGANT but that is for another time. My sister in law just told me she works in a 24 hour pharmacy and they closed the store but the pharmacy has to stay open because they don’t have a separate gate to lock it off (she is a pharmacist) Heidi, glad that your hubby is staying over somewhere safely. For all those in the Midlantic area, stay warm, dry and safe!
Not feelin’ the Ho, Ho, Ho, this year my friends. It took all I had to put the tree up, took a week later to put some decorations up and taking even longer to make the cookies, candies and bread. Uuugggg….not in the mood. My shopping is done (all on line) presents are wrapped as of today but I need a kick in the butt.
I’m going to have to have a talk with my daughter. She has changed, and not in a good way, since she’s been married. I don’t like it at all.
My son got engaged on the 8th which I’m thrilled about but I still can’t get it together. I really think this dark cloud of a daughter is making me crazy.
Sooooo…..I need advice. Should I pull her aside on Christmas Day and talk to her or should I wait? I don’t know when I’ll see her again and I don’t want to address this over e-mail or the phone. Help me Muser’s.
Well, I am here in the Northcoast (Cleve, OH) and the snow is falling ever so slowly and lovely….I am sorry for all you getting slammed, my wish to all of you is….a warm cozy fire, blanket, supper and good friends to share it.
Joanna,
Not sure what to tell you, what exactly is the problem with her? I know you don’t want to be specific, but what has changed with her? I have a daughter who is engaged also, so far so good with her (I do love her fiancee). Let us know what the problem is maybe we can help with some advice!?
Joanna~
I am so not in the mood either……meh!
I’m going to have to have a talk with my daughter. She has changed, and not in a good way, since she’s been married. I don’t like it at all.
What is going on? I think we need more info to give an educated opinion
jerzgurl822 and Heidi~
Glad to hear daughter and Hubs are going to be safe to ride out this storm! Jerz, I agree with you re: the pastor.
Thanks moon! No matter how old my kids get, I still worry. Joanna, I don’t know what the problem is but holidays are emotionally charged anyway. Probably not the best time to talk to your daughter unless it is a matter of life or death.
#48BohemianMoon
AAhhhh…..I just lost my whole post trying to find the correct spelling for cynical. Anyhoo…..I’m tired. I’ll try and be brief.
My daughter and her husband are in HUGE financial trouble. They may lose their house. I do not feel sorry for them because they haven’t put forth enough effort to help themselves. They have gone against all of the advice they have been given, even from my brother who gives financial advice for a living. It’s like, if you give them advice, they will do the exact opposite. My son-in-law bought this business which was a HUGE risk and was advised against it from a number of people. He’s not putting in the time and effort to keep it going or to make it grow. My daughter lost her job about three months ago and really isn’t putting forth any kind of an effort to find another one. So, they may lose their house. They are both extremely cynical, ungrateful for anything that’s done for them and unappreciative for any good thing that comes their way.
Depressed you may ask? No. I call it LIFE giving them a smack in the face they didn’t expect. They’ve been hinting around about money which I can’t stand from anyone. Don’t hint around with me. It’s ridiculous. Find your balls and say what you mean. My daughter looks like shit. She hasn’t been taking care of herself at all. She sits on the computer drawing comics. Yes, comics, instead of finding a job.
So….they are both going to graduate from the School of Hard Knocks. I will not help someone who is not willing to help themselves.
Wow…..I sound like the bitch from hell…..maybe Kate Gosselin’s twin sister LOL. I’m just tired of this whole mess.
My son got engaged on the 8th to a wonderful young woman. I’d like to really be able to enjoy this time without having to worry about my daughter being a blob, sitting on a chair, waiting for life to make her a Pretty, Pretty, Princess.
Bitch fest is over…….how you doin’?
Thank you. We have lived in New England all of our lives but we have BIG steep hills to conquer to get (and leave) home. So I worry about him coming home in one piece.
Dont you just love the way the weather channel is making it seem like the storm of the century?
OMG! Like we have never ever seen snow before. I was a kid during the Blizzard of 78. I just think they make it more then it really is. Is it a big storm? Yes..Is it going to give a foot of snow or more? Probably.
Are we going to stand around slack jawed not knowing what the fuck to do? Never!
We are going to stay inside till it is over and those who can will go out and enjoy it!
I have to stay inside. I have to avoid falling down at all costs.
Stay safe and Have fun!
Throw a snowball at someone for me!
Joanna~
No. I call it LIFE giving them a smack in the face they didn’t expect. They’ve been hinting around about money which I can’t stand from anyone. Don’t hint around with me. It’s ridiculous. Find your balls and say what you mean. My daughter looks like shit. She hasn’t been taking care of herself at all. She sits on the computer drawing comics. Yes, comics, instead of finding a job.
So….they are both going to graduate from the School of Hard Knocks. I will not help someone who is not willing to help themselves.
I hear you and I would agree that it is time for some tough love in terms of loaning them money. IMO, when adult children aren’t doing their damnedest to keep themselves afloat, tough love can make them grow up real quick. Are there children involved?
I agree with jerzgurl822 that perhaps before or on Christmas may not be the time to talk to her. However, I contend that should the asking for money issue arise between now and Christmas Day or whenever your family celebrates (Christmas Eve for example), then be short and to the point and set up a time to talk to her after the holidays. My sister has adult children who she continues to bail out at every turn. These kids are in their late 20s and early 30s. They are not learning how to stand on their own and be responsible for their own actions/’choices, and that is not doing them any favors – they are not growing up and are acting like they were in their late teens/early 20s. I see no end in sight either. It is ridiculous.
One of the hardest things in parenting is saying no and following through. It is not pleasant, but it is necessary. Now if they were doing their damnedest to stay afloat and were still having trouble, well then that is a different story, you know? Depending on the circumstances, I would probably help my kid and his spouse out, but when they aren’t taking the steps themselves? No.
My husband and I work full time, paying our bills, keeping afloat. Our neighbors on the other hand kept going on vacations, have a ski house, a summer camp, new car and menial paying jobs…..I just kept wondering how they were doing it.
Now I know…..their house is in foreclosure.
Do I feel sorry? No.
He moved in with another woman, she moved into her mothers house with the kids. Now their house is empty. They just walked away from it.
From what I hear, they are both happy to be out of the marriage.
OMG…thank you! I knew what I was doing was right but it always helps to have that second opinion.
I can remember living off crackers and sardines for a long time when I first moved out of my childhood home. I was starving, but damn it, my bills were always paid on time. I was a waitress, had a crappy little apartment and took all the extra hours I could get to make ends meet. I had no sense of entitlement whatsoever.
Oh, BTW, there are no children involved.
I have a bit of a gripe. I’m a day late (and possibly a dollar short too) and sicker than all hell. So I guess my bitchy mood level is a bit high right now.
We are going on the 6th year where we adopt a family in a financial crisis due to cancer. It doesn’t matter the specifics, just that there is a person in the family who has cancer and due to this, there is now finiancial hardship. My sister-in-law benefited from this on her last Christmas while we were living with her. My husband (her brother) has taken it upon himself to pay forward what his sister could not. And every year, regardless of effort put forth, my father-in-law, brother-in-law, and my sister-in-laws widower all went with my husband to do the drop. My husband fricking hauls ass this year to get donations, and I help out as I can and am very blessed to have some awesome family and friends who give, very generously, each year. I have never once been asked to do the drop, and I don’t want to. Because it’s not my thing. It’s my husbands and it’s what he does to honor his sister. I don’t want my presence to be associated with it, it’s all on him. But I am feeling some resentments popping up with regards to how little (as in NOTHING) my father-in-law, brother-in-law and sister-in-laws widower do. I also have a bigger resentment going directed towards my in-laws because sadly, it seems that because the loss is not so new, less is being given. Or more specifically, ways to pay forward are not being examined. And excuses, excuses!
I have a family room half full of tangable items that this family is going to be given, and more money and gift cards that I think they will be able to wrap their mind around and cards with prayers and good vibes being sent their way by complete strangers. I should be feeling goog about being a part of this. Instead I am feeling bitchy because those who haven’t done crap want to play face service and show up and help haul stuff in at the drop and get that warm and fuzzy feeling, like they did something. When in fact they did not.
Ugh. I have strep throat and everytime I’ve swallowed for the past three days it feels as though I have knives in my throat. Ugh.
Heidi: I live in NJ right outside of Philadelphia. When they forecast snow here, people go crazy and run to the store to buy toilet paper, canned goods and milk. While I was frightened earlier about my daughter driving in this stuff (while it is still snowing) we have never been stuck in the house for more than 1 day (while it is still snowing) The morning after, you go out, clean off your car, shovel it out and then go on your merry way. Usually the tv stations all run constant commentary on the storm, measuring the snow with rulers and showing idiots speeding down the roads and slipping and sliding. By tomorrow morning the streets here will all be drivable and the stores will be open.
Joanna – I realize this post isn’t entirely related to your situation, but hubs and I were just talking today about how the poorest you ever are is when you first move out on your own. I was telling him about how I had to scrounge and save every penny while living in my first postage-stamp-sized studio apartment. I could only afford one roll of the cheapest toilet paper at a time and one day I accidentally knocked it into the toilet…I cried. Overall it was a wonderful time in my life that I’m glad to have experienced and learned from. Interestingly the subject came up after leaving WalMart when he asked me why I have such a hard time buying the multi-paks of toilet paper…I guess its always felt extravagant to me because I remember only being able to buy one at a time.
Anyway…best of luck to those weathering the East Coast storm. Stay warm!!
I’m going to kill my daughter … after I find out she’s OK. She’s in Philly, was supposed to go to her brother’s house today, outside of Newark. Left her a voice mail at 4:00 and she still hasn’t called back. Called my son at 5:00 and they said she changed her mind about coming up, but was going to go shopping in her area. Child has an irating habit of not returning phone or email messages.
#51 Joanna said:
“They are both extremely cynical, ungrateful for anything that’s done for them and unappreciative for any good thing that comes their way.”
I agree 120% with Moon’s take on your situation. Considering how you’ve described their attitudes and entitlement issues, giving them money would just be throwing it away. Especially if you give it and then receive a postcard from the lovely vacation spot they chosen (they’ll need to de-stress, don’tchaknow)- and on your dime.
They’ll never learn to shovel coal on the responsibility train if they keep getting a free ride.
Good luck and try not to let it ruin your holidays.
CJ:
My son just decided, at 11:15 pm, to go to the movies.
BIG storm on it’s way here.
Did I mention his friend is driving, who has gotten into 2 bad accidents?
Does this worrying ever end??
#44jerzgurl822
As a mom, I don’t think it would be out of line at all for you to call him and tell him how much ‘anguish’ he put you through, not to mention the risk your dtr. took because she is so conscientious, all as a result of his selfish action. I’d be furious. So uncalled for…how many people showed up? 7?
CJ, freddy and jerzgurl~ it’s not just the kids who are making poor decisions in this weather. After shoveling one car out from 20 inches, I decided to take a walk just to see the neighborhood. Stumbled upon a lone 65ish year old female who had nosed her car into a drift. I had my shovel with me because I wanted to use it as a walking stick, and because I was so tired I didn’t want to put it back in the patio
, so with the help of 4 teen age walkers, we shoveled and pushed but to no avail. Fortunately, the fire department was cruising the streets in rescue mode, and stopped and lent the final, needed muscle to get this fool on her way. I know all your loved ones will get home safe and sound, but they deserve all the s**t you give them.
Good night all. Move shoveling to do in the morning. As for the White Christmas? ENOUGH already. And I don’t want to hear the word drought in the mid-Atlantic for a very long time. And, and, if I dare complain about the cost of building a garage this summer, someone bitch slap me.
55Joanna
OMG…thank you! I knew what I was doing was right but it always helps to have that second opinion
~~
Joanna, I too agree w/Moon 100%. How old are they and how recently married? It does sound like she’s a bit depressed, but I bet if she was doing something positive, towards bringing some money in, she’d feel better about herself. Geez, no one ever said it was easy raising kids. Congrats to your son though!
KF – Oooh, sorry! Hope you’re on antibiotics and will be feeling better in the next day or two. I am a big baby, I hate sore throats.
#64NonTraditional Student
And, and, if I dare complain about the cost of building a garage this summer, someone bitch slap me.
~~
OMG, too funny NTS! LOL…I am going to remember that and give you a hard time if you do!
My youngest asked me last night if she and her friend (friend slept over here last night) could go bowling!
I said…
Are you Freaking Kidding me??
First..there is a big snow storm coming (it start snowing like 20 minutes after she asked).
Second..You have to go over a big river and bridge to get to the bowling alley..in said snow storm.
Thirdly..I am in my Pajamas.
Noooo!
She got pissed, huffed and puffed, and went in another room. I dont care.
LOL
Lots of snow out there and it is still coming down.
Lots and lots of snow.
I hope everyone`s near and dear made it home safe last night.
The daughter I was bitchin’ about finally emailed at 11:39 last night. Of course, I had shut down my computer at 11 and didn’t see it until this morning. As her brother said, she didn’t go to NJ also didn’t go shopping. Just stayed home, walked the dog. This is a very tall dog that loves coming to my house in the winter to play in the snow. When they went to the park around the corner, dog didn’t want to play – snow was up to her chest! Dtr said they were reporting 16″ in Philly. My question – was cell phone service in Philly down during the storm? (doubt it) Why does it take 8 hours for the kid to respond…
Son saga continues:
He comes in at 4:30 AM, after driving around with friends in the ‘blizzard’ in New England.
My husband actually just said to me, “The police would have called if something happened, he’s 19, let it go.”
REALLY???? You can sleep?
At 4:30, when he came in, he yelled at me because he had get up at 6 to go to work, shoveling, so leave him alone.
Shithead, and I’m the one on anti-anxiety medication.
24 + inches, drifts are way higher.
Snow thrower overpowered.
I am gasping for air.
Daughter has to work today. Spent night at friends close to where she works.
Kids no longer want to earn money shoveling snow.
Just want to cry.
#65Linda
Geez, no one ever said it was easy raising kids. Congrats to your son though!
~~Ain’t that the truth! For some reason I thought when they turned 18, all of my wisdom that I thought I had passed on would have taken hold. Do you ever stop worrying? My son sells his personal stuff when he needs extra cash. He get’s it. My daughter, not so much.
My well-wishes go out to those of you out East during this blizzard. We had one a couple of weeks ago so I know what you’re going through. I just never want to be one of those people who leave to go to Florida during the winter. I enjoy the seasons too much. That means snow, snow and more snow. Why live up here at all if you can’t take the cold? Move down south for good if you can’t take it. Is that mean? I don’t mean to be. We have four neighbors that move south during the winter and we have been asked to keep an eye on their houses for them which is no big deal. I just wonder, why? Why are you going?
#70Syl
Take it easy, Syl. Some spiked eggnog may be your ticket right now
#72 Joanna
LOL. Sounds good. Actually I was fortifying myself on Christmas Blend coffee from the Fresh Market..yummy.
Got half done and had to stop. Breathing problems.
Taking tomorrow as a vacation day and will do the rest.
Have a bottle of Yellowtail in fridge. My reward when the ordeal
is done.
I do not have a snowblower so I have to say shoveling blows. But I had an inordinately rewarding day shoveling, if you can believe it. After digging out my, and my mom’s car I help an old lady dig hers out after looking down and seeing she was trying to do it with a dust pan. Then I checked on another elderly neighbor and found out she was without heat and shoveled her driveway.So my heart is filled with love for my fellow man ie; neighbors. They were so grateful.
Peace and Joy kids.
#74NonTraditional Student
What a caring person you are!
You’ve placed another brick paver on your path to heaven.
#71Joanna
I’m chuckling…we always hated when those snowbirds came down to FL for the winter!! Could set your watch by them. Always in full force by Halloween! I avoided I-95 when they were down! I like the mid Atlantic area….I love the 4 seasons. I don’t want snow all winter (like in Erie, Schenectady and Morrison IL) but I do like some snow. I’m disappointed we missed getting any this wkend in Charlotte, sleet and freezing rain instead.
Heidi, you are rotten. How could you not drive your kid and her friends over the bridge from hell in your jammies during a blizzard to go bowling? You so mean, mama. LMAO!
ROFL Pat..
Yup, I am a mean assed bitch. I tell ya..I keep dreaming of a nice cozy EMPTY nest!
They can come to visit but they do not actually live here. I love them both but they gotta go!
hahah
Glad everyone was safe from the storm. My friend measured (lives in same city) and we received 14 1/2 inches of snow. The plow came down our little dead end street this morning and did some extra clean up and spreading this new green stuff on the ground. No sand and salt.
I am housebound until at least tomorrow. I cannot risk falling down. I hate it!
Where the hell is Spring?
I know today is the Winter Solstice and I will be counting down the days till I can hear those blessed morning birds of Spring!
Took one of my precious vacation days today and finished blowing out the driveway. Can’t do front walk. Plow packed it full of ice. Too deep to climb over. Poor mailman. Nothing but bills anyway. They can wait.
Daughter coming over later with shovels.
Happy Winter Solstice everyone!
#74NonTraditional Student
What a nice compassionate person you are.
Never change…..
o my god. i HATE windows ,why you may ask well my mother quite by accsident stepped /tripped over my laptopand crushed it not only sis it broken beond repair (we are talking blue screen of death)it is 2 days befor christmas and i havent finished sending out my e-cards or anything .my life was on that computer now it is gone.by the way i am useing my sisters computer to vent about this .merry fing christmas!(srry horid spelling)